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RoM’s CoM – January

This is the first of a monthly article I will be writing and, thankfully, Scott has given me a complete free reign to do what I want; which may or may not be a good thing for his website. I’ve decided to use this opportunity to highlight the things that have irritated me, riled me up, rubbed me up the wrong way, made me laugh, made me cry, made me rant, left me speechless and left me incredulous… amongst many other emotions. It gives me the chance to rant and rave, insult and belittle, as well as mock and ridicule the biggest c*nts of the previous month.

I guess I should keep it football related and, to keep things fair, I will always include a Manchester United c*nt of the month. January, however, has been a decent month for United. We’ve increased the lead at the top of the Premier League, players are coming back from injury and we’ve signed a promising youngster in Wilfried Zaha for a reported £12m. We’ve signed numerous commercial deals, the stadium has been filled out at every game and we became the first sports team to be valued at over $3bn so even the Glazers had a good month.

With all of that in mind it was difficult to choose the Man United C*nt of the Month but the inaugural award goes to Fred the Red. Simply because it’s a fucking GROWN MAN wearing a fucking COSTUME and he calls it a full time job. Why the fuck can’t the Glazers bring the one thing from American sports that everyone agrees is the only positive? The cheerleaders; Scantily clad, young, flexible women dancing provocatively at half time would be far better than a twat who dropped out of school and now makes a living waving his arse and hands about.

Disclaimer: If Fred the Red is, in fact, a rich volunteer doing this out of the generosity of his heart in order to bring joy to the children… then fair enough. Other wise he can fuck right off.

The main award for January was less difficult to hand out. I will, of course, try to steer clear of the usual wankers who would feature on this list for lifetime achievements. The likes of Stan Collymore, Rodney Marsh, Piers Morgan, The Mirror/The Sun newspaper, Niall Quinn and every Liverpool fan will always be fighting it out for this award. For that reason I will endeavour to exclude them unless a particularly c*ntish act has been performed; Such as Rodney Marsh being caught masturbating while watching Stan Collymore beat the shit out of a cheerleader who is wrapped in the Sun newspaper with Piers Morgan declaring his love/hate for Wenger with every punch all of which is made infinitely worse by Niall Quinn’s running commentary. I just wouldn’t be able to ignore something like that.

Saying that, the January award was a simple one to hand out. Peter Odemwingie, you are without doubt the person who made the biggest c*nt of themselves during the January transfer window. We all know the story by now: he drove all the way to QPR on transfer deadline day to seal a transfer that he thought was pretty much a done deal. He even gave an interview referring to QPR as ‘we’ before being told to fuck off back to West Brom. Embarrassing for the player and both clubs but fucking hilarious for the watching public.

This is made all the more hilarious by the fact that QPR have been left with Bobby Zamora and Jamie Mackie as their only senior strikers after loaning out Djibril Cisse and a serious injury to Loic Remy ruled him out for 6 weeks. Odemwingie will now be picking splinters out of his arse as he warms the bench for West Brom for the remainder of the season. In all seriousness, how do you even show your face at the West Brom training ground after a debacle like that?

I tried to contact Peter to get his reaction to winning the first ever RoM CoM Award but surprisingly he declined to take the opportunity to accept graciously. I believe “…unavailable for comment” was the phrase used.

Peter Odemwingie, you are the Republik of Mancunia’s C*nt of the Month for January.

Follow @BusbyMUFC on Twitter and read his blog.


 

32 Comments

  1. Costas says:

    Nice to have Joshua onboard. I like this prestigious award and I fully agree with January’s choice. :lol:

  2. belfast red. says:

    Funny as fuck read. And a well deserved choice. Congratz peter! :)

  3. matt says:

    I’m glad your attempting to exclude Stan Collymore, Rodney Marsh, Piers Morgan, The Mirror/The Sun newspaper, Niall Quinn and every Liverpool fan because we could go on for years about how they are all tossers. Can you include Adrian Durham in your list? Hate that cunt.

  4. Marcoon says:

    Seriously? How can anyone think this is a good article. This is absolute garbage. Cursing in every sentence doesn’t make something a “Funny as fuck read”. Grow up.

    Scott may I openly be the first to condemn this toilet article (Please Lord don’t let me be the last).

    Please re-consider your choice of giving Joshua an input to this usually exemplary blog.

  5. DreadedRed says:

    … and the RoM Readers CoM Award for January goes to …

    Daniel88, for his disgraceful attacks on Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney and Sir Alex Ferguson.

    Daniel88′s reaction to winning the first ever RoM Readers CoM Award was not forthcoming. Apparently he was unable to reply coherently as he had several Real Madrid cocks wedged firmly down his throat at time of asking. His agent said: “Daniel88 will vomit again here shortly.”

  6. DreadedRed says:

    Marcoon’s late entry will be added to February’s pot of RoM Readers CoM Award candidates.

    Good luck!

  7. Gorse Hill Red says:

    A bit harsh on poor Fred the Red if you ask me, would love the job myself if asked! As for the cheerleaders, that was tried in 1993 did not work; this is football with passionate fans not the American version of it full of hot dog eating spectators.

  8. Proverb says:

    Wow! Just wow
    Keep it up guys
    I 2nd, its funny as fuck kikikiki

  9. wayne says:

    Yeah passionate fans eat meat pies and have no interest in seeing hot pussy flashing tits and ass
    Gorse Hill Red I’ve no idea what your comment even means makes no sense.Maybe you don’t like NFL but believe me those fans are just as passionate about their teams than any football fan.A lot make a full day of it have tailgate parties(barbecue and beers)hrs before the game starts

  10. redrick says:

    Must be me, i actually thought that was “Funny as fuck”!!
    Hows about a weekly one?

  11. dannysoya LOVES USAIN BOLT says:

    WOW There’s a new CoM award? EXCELLENT!!! I have a MILLION nominees for February already.

  12. Carson says:

    A Yank here.
    Regarding the cheerleaders, Liga MX in Mexico already has them. It’s wonder Chicharito left home!

    Here they are:

    http://msn.foxsports.com/foxsoccer/mexico/gallery/mexican-cheerleaders-primera-division-liga-mx-gallery-images-090512#tab=photo-title=Vamos+Santos%2521&photo=31337508

    Oh, and fuck City. Seriously.

  13. JC says:

    Gorse, I’d rather a hot dog than a prawn sammy mate, can’t think of anything wrong with some scantily clad hoochie swingin around on the pitch at halftime. Maybe they could get some of those daytrippers up out of their seats once in awhile, see if they remember how to make some noise.

  14. bangingtunes says:

    Well this is a terrible article! At least its only once a month, i can scroll past it and proceed to read something insightful! No need for all the cursing, you’d think a teenager wrote this!

  15. belfast red. says:

    Jezz! Some people realy need to lighten up in here “bangintunes and marcoon”. Its abit of harmless banter. And made me laugh. Roll on nxt months!

  16. Dred says:

    ,Marcoon you aren`t the last

  17. LA Red says:

    Fairly long time viewer of the boards and an occasional poster here. Really don’t see how this makes the website any better. This would be something low-brow one would expect to see on a city or ‘pool blog. Hope this doesn’t make me this month’s CoM. I’m willing to give it time. It’ll probably grow on me.

  18. Rotegzy says:

    I honestly do not support this idea/article. What has one got to gain in deriding, insulting and cursing others. This is beyond belief.

  19. MyCowIsTheBest says:

    I am also not sure if this is a good idea. I have been a RoM reader since the days when nobody else would comment here, I will sometimes be the sole commenter. I found this site solely because of my love for United, so an article making joke of others at RoM, hurm, I am not sure..

    I prefer posts with links to every goal of our youth team’s game more than this one.

  20. Gorse Hill Red says:

    JC and Wayne; like I said it was tried in 93 and it failed. Maybe if we have endless timeouts, stopped play for every move and band for every interval it could possibly work. Mind you I could fill up on hot dogs if ‘soccer’ did have all those aspects.

  21. DiegoForlanDK says:

    I don’t see how this kind of article benefits either RoM or us, the readers.

  22. DiegoForlanDK says:

    In short, an unexpected and undesired change of style on RoMs behalf from my perspective

  23. fredthered says:

    What, I am fred the red, not yet dead
    I sing and dance over football romance
    ROM can do worse by becoming a COM
    Why attack me, would u do it for free
    Ask Sir Alex who’ll tell u ur bollocks
    Wants Cheerleaders wont make u popular among readers
    Bring back Scott else this idiot will cause a ROT

    BOOHOO I am Fred the Red who loves Manutd

  24. ManchesterDAVE says:

    Fred the Red always drinks in Tollgate before and after the game, he is usually battered by the time he arrives at OT

  25. MyCowIsTheBest says:

    Oh I just read a lot of articles on the Odemwingie ‘transfer’ saga. Although I laughed very much reading them, I also can’t stop feeling sorry for the lad. To me, it was his club, WBA, who is the one at fault. WBA told Odemwingie that he can go if QPR upped the price to 3.5mil. QPR complied and offered 3.5mil, so Odemwingie drove all the way to London. Then WBA renegotiated and added Junior Hoillet into the deal (QPR to loan Hoillet to WBA), without telling Odemwingie of this new development. Hoillet did not want to join WBA. Deal is off. Odemwingie arrives at Loftus Road without knowing that the deal is off.

  26. Deepest Red says:

    1995:
    Eric Cantona will have a little longer to indulge himself in his poetry, his painting and his philosophy after the Football Association yesterday extended into next season the suspension already imposed by Manchester United for assaulting a supporter.
    At Old Trafford they are already writing the “sold out” notices for 1 October, 1995 – the date of the Frenchman’s return to the game.
    And he will return, or at least his club are confident he will. Fears that another punishment on top of his United ban to the end of this season would see him heading for the Channel Tunnel can be allayed. The United solicitor, Maurice Watkins, said: “We expect Eric to still be with us when the suspension is complete.”
    Effectively the ban, which extends worldwide, is for six months which will amount to a maximum of 34 games.
    2013: Eden Hazard. 3 match ban for violent kick.
    How about a Lifetime Achievement Award for the FA? Always COM

  27. loughie21 says:

    Follow BusbyMUFC on Twitter and enjoy it so wouldn’t mind reading stuff from him (as long as no mention of betting!) but this was atrocious. Not a fan of the idea or the execution, the last thing football needs is more negativity like ‘cunt’ of the month. The writing was pretty shoddy as well, not smart or funny (which surprised me based on the Twitter stuff).

    So yeah, sorry, just really didn’t like this. Hope Busby stays on but comes at this from a completely different style next time.

  28. Goat Peticoat says:

    Dont I get a reward?
    I am a cunt I dont need telling.
    Whats wrong with Fred the Red. Kids love him and its the kids and the fat red teddy that make all the noise at OT on match day. Take your grumpy ugly boat out of a pukka pie (prawn sandwiches if thats your thing), watch the match and cheer. STop taking notice of small things around you and look at the bigger picture. Talk football if your a football journalist and dont slate anything UNLESS you come up with a better solution. Any knuckle head can wield a demolition ball but very few can put put pencil to draftsmans table. Your idea of cheer leaders would really go well in bean flicking lesbian acne’d faced fat cottage cheese thighs pig ugly lesbian faced Britain with our slightly less savoury looking high carb women. English women are the ugliest women in the northern hemisphere and can really only be beaten on a world stage by those puffy nosed mono browed lebanese. (They bloody look like sadam hussein with acid thrown in their faces to get that tight youthful skin look).

    So your idea of a first write up is to bolox football, slate Fred the Red and get Bella Emberg and some anorexic essex halfwit to come on with their silver handbags sing in faux pakistani too fore sik ay (in it) who we presiating bitches, uh huh that rahy, Rooney in it.

    D-

  29. Marky the Devil says:

    Scott: I really tried to like this article, but I couldn’t. Insults on Fred the Red is uncalled for.

    Joshua: We expect you to be more mature in your writings. Though it would disappointing to slag you off for a stupid mistake like this, so looking forward to see future posts with more content.

    To others: Trust me I have a very good sense of humour but sorry this post didn’t tickle me.

  30. OAFC says:

    You can say whatever you like but people like you make the rest of us realise that in a football sense the biggest Cunts on the planet support Man United and you my friend are the fairy on top of the tree and the cherry on top of the cake. You are an utter wanker of the first order.

  31. Mannings says:

    Change Fred to Scott and you have cunt of the year sorted.

  32. ak47 says:

    I think you need to get rid of the picture of Mancini and replace it with all 3 candidates, it heightens the suspense when you’re reading through to the bottom.

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