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He’s Cracking Up…

“He’s crackin up, he’s crackin up, he’s crackin, Rafa’s crackin up!”

FACT – Fat Spanish Waiter Is Cracking Up

About Scott

Scott is the editor of Red Matters - 50 Years of Supporting Manchester United and an author of Play Like Fergie's Boys and Not Nineteen Forever. He writes for ESPN, The Metro and Bleacher Report. Follow @R_o_M on Twitter.

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  1. EastStandManc says:

    The shirt below it is miles better, but undone by an error, unfortunately.

  2. Tooth says:

    Not just one error, three. Fat Spanish waiters don’t wear Adidas tracky bottoms, they don’t wear Mexican Sombreros and they know where to put an apostrophe.

  3. Isaidso says:

    Re Tooth. That maybe correct maestro, but if your a scouser, I can tell you plainly where to put your apostrophe, UP YOURS, and then some.

  4. micheal says:

    he is cracking me up lol,

  5. Sean says:

    Kidney stones and cracking up!

  6. klauq says:

    Was there ever a bigger loser than Benitez in this mindgame? Keegan?

    erm…why both of them Liverpool-related? another FACT?


  7. virgopq says:

    Hahaha!. Yeah!, shaft it up his!.

  8. RedAlert260599 says:

    Brilliant mail arrived this morn….
    Liverpudlian Rhapsody (to the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

    Is this our Stevie?
    Captain of LFC?
    Arrested in Southport
    All caught on CCTV.
    Open “The Sun”
    It’s there on Page One, you’ll see.
    I’m just a Scouser
    I need some help
    Because I’m Huyton-born, Huyton-bred
    Once a Blue, now a Red.
    Whatever the truth is, it doesn’t really matter to me.

    [Piano: Dumm di dum dum, dumm di dum dum]

    Rafa! It’s Stevie here.
    I’ve just t*watted a DJ
    And they’ve taken him away.
    Rafa, we were four points clear
    But now I fear we’ll throw it all away!
    Rafa! Ooooooooooh.
    Didn’t mean to make you sigh
    If I’m not back in time to play at Preston Tinker on, tinker on, my
    career is all in tatters….

    [Piano: Dum di dum di dum, dum di dum di dum]

    Too late! It’s Walton Jail.
    I don’t think that I can cope
    I can’t bend down for the soap.
    Goodbye everybody – I’ve got to go
    Gotta leave the Kop behind and face the Bench.
    Rafa! Ooooooooooo! (Anyway the sh*it blows) I don’t want to go to jail I
    sometimes wish I’d never joined Liverpoo-ool!

    [Piano, guitar and stuff]

    I see a little silhouetto of Hamman
    There’s more dosh, there’s more dosh if I sign for Man City But joining
    such a sh*ite team is very very frightening to me

    Calling Barry
    (It’s Rick Parry)
    Calling Barry
    (It’s Rick Parry)
    Calling Barry! He’s Magnific-o-o-o-o

    I’m just a poor boy from a Scouse family He’s just a poor boy from a
    Scouse family Spare him his job says Co-Coach Sammy Lee

    Piano: Tinkle, tinkle tinkle

    Easy come easy go! Will you let me go?
    It’s me, La!
    No! We will not let you go! Let him go!
    It’s me, La!
    No! We will not let you go! Let him go!
    No no no no no no!
    Rafa! Sammy! Rafa! Sammy! Rafa! Sammy! Get me out!
    A Big House con has a shower set aside for me! For meee!

    For meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

    [Big Guitar Riff]

    So you think you can say my career’s in decline!
    So you think you can suggest my kids are not mine!
    Oh DJ! Can’t do this to me DJ!
    Just gotta get out! Just gotta get right outta here!

    [More guitar and then the slow bit]

    My career is now in tatters
    Anyone can see
    Nothing really matters! Nothing really matters to me!

    Anyway the sh*it blows!

    [Cymbal: pish]

  9. North Stand,Tier 3,Back Row says:

    Red Alert, thats fucking hilarious!!!

  10. Stephen says:

    Class!!, also Benitez has turned down a contract offer from the dippers, fahct!!

  11. Fuglis says:

    RedAlert, fantastic post!

  12. Bob Koh says:

    Benitez planned it all with the calculated the rant against ManU, Fergie & Gill.
    By claiming all that he said, if L’pool wins the league, he’d succeed in his ‘mind’ games.
    If L’pool does not win, he has implied the bias for ManU by the FA, refs..and then he’ll reject his contract & quit for Real, taking Torres with him.
    L’pool fans, be prepared for the last option!
    Benitez is a prick & my dislike for him has exploded.

  13. johhhhhnnnnnnn says:

    +1. Rafa sucks

  14. Jake says:

    @tooth, agreed mate, Benitez is so incompetent he can’t even get being a fat Spanish waiter right….


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