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How Can Managers Avoid FA Charges?

In the aftermath of a flurry of Premier League managers being pulled up for daring to praise a referee prior to a game, what would happen if one took it upon themselves to give the FA bigwigs a bell and clarify the situation…

Manager: Hi, just after your help in clarifying what I am able to say about referees before games? Wouldn’t want to be getting into trouble, so what am I allowed to say and what am I not?

FA: You are not allowed to comment on the referee before a game.

Manager: So what if I’m asked in a press conference what I think about him? Do I just say ‘no comment’?

FA: No, because that would sound like you had negative feelings towards him. ‘No comment’ is a phrase often used to show disgust at a subject. It would be disrespecting the referee.

Manager: How about if I just remain silent if I’m asked?

FA: Hmm. It would depend on how you managed the silence and the length of it.

Manager: What do you mean?

FA: Well if the silence was unnecessary prolonged it could become humorous and as such disrespect the referee. If the silence was too short and you moved onto the next question quickly it could be construed that you were being dismissive of referees and their role in the game.

Manager: I don’t think I can pull that off, and I’m not allowed to praise him?

FA: That’s correct. You are not allowed to praise a referee before a game.

Manager: So when asked could I just say he was an average referee?

FA: No, our referees are anything but average having been selected to be part of an elite.

Manager: Ah right so I’ll simply say he’s part of an elite.

FA: No, that would be praise and as such could be seen as an effort to influence the referee.

Manager: How about if I say he’s just like all the referees as they’re all the same?

FA: That could be interpreted as a negative reaction to referees and stereotyping. All referees are not the same, they are individuals and should be respected as such.

Manager: I’ve got an idea. How about I just keep to facts? I could just say ‘Ah that referee gave us a penalty and sent a player off last time we had him’ or ‘He had a quiet game last time with us, no cards’. Then I’m not giving an opinion just facts everyone already knows.

FA: Absolutely not. You could be inferring the referee was too quick to make decisions or alternatively was apprehensive of making decisions. Either way you could be undermining some aspect of his refereeing.

Manager: I can see this is going to be difficult. I may just refuse to do any pre-match press conferences for fear of saying the wrong thing.

FA: You can’t do that. You must do pre-match press conferences.

Manager: Whilst I’m on the phone could I ask whether you’ve decided who the FA are going to support in the FIFA elections? How you’re getting on saving the grassroots game? Whether you’ve earmarked a successor for the national job rather than leaving it until the last minute?

FA: I’m afraid we haven’t got around to any of that yet. Far too busy.

———
Written by The Mirror’s Annie Eaves. Follow her on Twitter.

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63 Comments

  1. King Eric says:

    Oh and its high time these cockney wankers worried about their own clubs. The north is the home of football. Not ONE fucking European Cup from the southern clubs put together.

  2. redrider says:

    King Eric

    beg to differ. arsenal wins the emirates cup don’t they? B-)

  3. willierednut says:

    Breath KE! Deep breathes…..

  4. redrider says:

    B)

    watching the arse villa game… never had this fun of late.

  5. redrider says:

    Willie

    Hehe…if durham ever finds himself facing King Eric…

    how the fuck do people stand to listen to him??

  6. redrider says:

    i just love watching bendtner…

  7. Gandalf says:

    oh King Eric, love your rants mate :-)

    don’t listen to them fuckers… now just think about NINETEEN. Feels good, doesn’t it!

  8. james21 says:

    @KING ERIC.
    I’m getting fed up of watching Sky Sports all you’re getting is Shitty this Shitty that. What makes the cunts think this load of classless boring football playing shit are going to overtake Utd. Chelsea tried it and had minor success. That was because Kenyon the snake told them what deals we had offered the likes of Essien and Robben so they were able to better them.
    They are totally disrespecting Utd’s record breaking 19th title. The cunts just seam to want to talk about the FA Cup win. Lets not forget Wimbledon and Coventry have won it since the Shit last won it and it would have taken longer if Monsour hadn’t got involved so big fuckin deal. The shit are that desperate for success they spent 400 + Million for a peice of silver we have won 11 times infact Ron atkinson has won it more times than Mankini and spent less. It gets me how they win one trophey and they are suddenly overtaking Utd. Granted, we’ll have to accept they are here to stay but overtake Utd? Nah!
    They still don’t realise Utd are a Gigantic club with structure where as shitty are a small minded tiny little spec or dreg on the landscape that has come into money with smallminded Classless vermin fans who don’t even bother to go to games.

  9. Hargo's Curly Hair says:

    @King Eric
    Fantastic emotional post as always,spot on mate

    On the FA well they just a bunch of pathetic corrupt bastards who would do all they can to make United look bad,and with the Rooney Twitter saga,it shows that the ABU media are a bunch of fucking bored cunts who have nothing to do than digging up some banter as Wayne revealed and try to initiate a forced ban on Wayne over his comments,gosh I don’t want to lie I hate those bastards with a passion and if something were to happen to them like an illness I’d be glad!
    Another cunt in the name of YSB John Barnes,that little vermin scouse irks me he makes me sit on the edge of my couch,just hoping to smash the telly,I hate the man,always hyping up the scouse vermin,saying that they’ve set the benchmark in England,and recently down playing our success by exceeding his piss poor club,saying that we may have 19 titles but they’ve got 5 European Cups,you couldn’t make it up!,and wanking saying that Barca will thrash us,saying they’re the greatest team of all time! What a deluded rat faced twat always giving it large!

    Messi the odd bodied fucking diving midget needs to shut his little mouth,he’s the same cunt who wrote us off,hyping up the rent boys and the fascists!
    Who in the fucking goodness does this cunt of an owner the Wolves one,who the fuck does he think he is insisting that it would be hypocritical if we fielded a weakened side against Blackpool it’s not our fault his team has been piss poor this season,he can get fucked,running his mouth like he’s the boss!

    I’m a bit concerned about Ravel Morrison,I think he wasn’t at the awards,his attitude needs checking,hope Sir Alex can straighten him out! The lad is a talent and with all his off field issues hope it doesn’t hinder his progress!

    Night true reds! :D

  10. fergie is the boss says:

    King Eric -alright mate. If I put a ten pounds on how many times united have been put down, I could buy united

  11. fergie is the boss says:

    It is like being jesus christ now being a united fan, no matter hw many times we get bashed there is no pain but gain

  12. King Eric says:

    james21 and Hargos Curly hair – Great posts lads. Spot on.

  13. redavesale says:

    They really are aresholes – haven’t got a clue. it helps to laugh at them – perhaps that’s what they want, to entertain us with their lunacy!

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