The Times columnist and Spiked magazine editor, Mick Hume, has taken some time out of his busy schedule to speak to RoM.
Scott the Red: How long have you been following United?
Mick Hume: My whole life – since I was seven anyway, in 1967. I am the stereotypical Surrey Red, from the suburbs where there was no professional football. So we all supported the local clubs – Woking, Walton and Hersham – in the FA Cup etc, but when it came to proper football we had to look up. When I saw Best, Law and Charlton, I was a Red for life.
STR: How often do you get to Old Trafford?
MH: About half the league games if I’m lucky these days, same seat in the North Stand since 1993 (apart from the year when they knocked it down). When you’re a family man the trek up from London becomes a bit harder, so I have to combine a match with a visit to my in-laws in Eccles. My season ticket has always been used, though.
STR: Favourite ever United game?
MH: I was at Selhurst Park in ‘93, the night United beat Palace and Villa lost and we knew we were going to win the league for the first time in 26 yards. You had to have lived through the playground humiliation of those dark ages – I wore a black armband to school when we were relegated in 1974 – to appreciate how much it meant. I remember me and my younger brother were doing our pieces in the Arthur Waite stand among the Palace season ticket holders, while an elderly couple eating cheese and pickle sandwiches behind kept tugging at my coat and saying “will you PLEASE sit down young man?” I was in the same stand at Selhurst Park the night Eric karate-kicked that pillock, which was equally memorable.
STR: What’s your favourite United story or anecdote?
MH: Too many to mention. But I always laugh when I recall hearing Paddy Crerand on the radio in ’95, defending Eric after the karate-kick affair. When the thousandth plastic Red came on to complain that Cantona had shamed the club, was a bad role model etc, the exasperated Paddy finally lost it and just told him: “Listen son, in the end, you’re either Red or you’re not!” A legend for all occasions. And I liked the story Ferguson told recently, about how when players go off for a piss at the side of the pitch during training, Scholes will kick a ball 40 years and hit them in mid-flow. Says it all about Scholesy’s skill and attitude really – it’s not that he can’t tackle, it’s that he’s a Salford ginger-nut who enjoys a bit of aggro.
STR: What is the best example of ABUism you’ve come up against in the press?
MH: In my experience most of it is quite subtle, for example a lot of people in the media have always over-praised Wenger and Arsenal mostly as a backhanded way of doing down Ferguson and United. I will always remember Steven Howard of the Sun writing just before the end of the 1999 season that United might end up with more silverware that year but “most of the glory belongs to Arsenal”. A bit more than a week later the “inglorious” United had won the treble.
Personally I appreciate the more honest ABU attitudes. The football editor at The Times is a proper card-carrying Scouser and a top bloke, a veteran of Heysel and Hillsborough who knows almost as much about football as he does about Belgian beer, which is saying something. At the Times sport Christmas do in 2006, all the journos were telling me that they hoped United would win the league that year and break the hold of Jose Mourhino’s boring Chelsea machine. He was the only one who disagreed, explaining to his bemused colleagues that “Chelsea are just a ship passing in the night – but United are the evil empire”. I liked that, because I would feel the same way about them. But he is also professional enough to keep his prejudices out of his work as a journalist – which I’m not.
STR: What do you make of Ferguson’s repeated referee complaints?
MH: As match-watching Reds we can all see it is a diversionary tactic and a displacement activity to avoid talking about how he has cocked up his team selection and/or tactics (again). But that’s our business. So far as the outside world is concerned I think we should give the manager unconditional support, especially when he’s up against the football authorities. These “celebrity” referees get far too much respect these days. They are vain, jumped-up little Hitlers whom nobody would miss if they disappeared down a hole in the middle of the pitch and were replaced by the bloke from the local park. After Fergie slated Wiley, the referees’ spokesman was on TV complaining that if this went unpunished, fans would soon be shouting “You’re not fit to ref-er-ee”, Oh, the horror! Maybe they’d prefer it if we went back to the days when crowds shouted “Your old lady is a whore” and “Who’s the bastard in the black?” at them? I know I would.
STR: Is it time for video refereeing?
MH: No. How could we get shot of all our anger and outrage by swearing at a video camera?
STR: Do you think the Chelsea result will have an effect on who wins the title?
MH: It doesn’t help matters, does it? I think the games so far this season suggest three things: United might not be all that good, but none of the “Big Four” are as big or as clever as they think they are and the Premier League is basically crap. That is why these bottom-feeder clubs can beat the supposed stars, because the league has been levelled down. Chelsea must be warm favourites now, but they are no world-beaters and we’ll see how all of their “experience” – ie, average age over 30 – stands up in the winter mud. At least we can comfort ourselves with the thought that the Scousers definitely won’t win it, 20 years and counting…
STR: What is our strongest line-up this season?
MH: I might be the only one who still thinks Ben Foster should be in goal, but he’s the future and Edwin VDS is the (admittedly glorious) past. Rio Ferdinand seems to be returning to the standards that had me dub him the world’s only forgetful elephant after that drugs test debacle, so Brown should get a run. But the main problem is I haven’t a clue as to our best midfield. Fergie has too many players there, and too many of them are mediocre. The fact that Giggs and Scholes are still our best midfielders says it all. In any case, I would always like to see United play two up front – Rooney plus one – whether it is at home to Blackburn or away to Chelsea or Barcelona.
STR: Berbatov – genius?
MH: Yes. And no.
STR: Which younger player are you most impressed with so far?
MH: I like the twins at full-back, especially as it now seems they can fool referees into booking the other one an so never get sent-off. If they learn to defend they could be the business. Apart from them I would like to Macheda get on the pitch for more than five minutes so we can see that he is more than a one-goal wonder.
STR: Who is our most important player?
MH: No question at all, Wayne Rooney by a street, and I would have said that even before Ronaldo left. Rooney is the one that makes everything happen. He is the best English footballer I have seen in 40 years, and already one of my three all-time favourite United players along with Best and Cantona – not bad for a Scouse scally.
STR: Which rival player do you hate the most and why?
MH: There are the obvious suspects such as the high-pitched whinger Gerrard and his mate Carra. But I have always had a sneaking detestation for Thierry Henry. A fine player no doubt, but one who somehow embodies all that I dislike about the sanitised image of the New Football. That is why he is the darling of the Guardian-reading Hampstead set who go on about the “beautiful game” but hate the “ugly” working class people who watch and play it. It was a tribute to the tolerance of English football fans that, when the self-righteous Henry threatened to walk off the pitch if he heard a racist whisper, away crowds did not all start greeting him with monkey noises.
STR: What was your opinion of Ronaldo in his last season?
MH: He behaved like a bit of an old tart, but one who still had a lovely pair of legs. I had no problem with him leaving really. It seemed clear from the day he arrived that Ronaldo was always going to end up at Real Madrid, it was only a matter of when and for how much. Eighty million quid after six seasons, three league titles, one European Cup and all the rest seemed a perfectly reasonable way to say goodbye. Hope we get them in the Champions’ League mind, Rooney still owes him one.
STR: Who’s a good shout for replacing Ferguson?
MH: The biggest question of all for the future of United (apart perhaps from “Will the club go bankrupt before the Glazers get out?”) I used to think Martin O’Neill could found a new Ferguson-style dynasty. Capello would be a good short-term bet if he is still around, he has already shown United how to use Rooney. I don’t really fancy any of the ex-players just now – and that includes Darren F, whom Sir Alex would no doubt love to inherit the crown. But I have completely flip-flopped in my attitude to Fergie. In 2005 I was sure he was finished and should be forcibly retired. Now I think he should stay as United manager forever, and they should invest in the drugs, robotics, cryogenics or whatever else is necessary to keep him going for another 23 years.
Mick also writes for Red Issue fanzine in his ‘View from the Smoke’ column.
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great read.
Ben Foster in goal? i have my doubts over that.also Thierry Henry? i frankly hate stevie me,Carra and Jt much much more than Henry.
United are the evil empire, the dark side is strong with us !!!!
I agree with the henry part though…goes back to the days when he and RVN were competing for top goalscorer and I just detested him doin his waltz down the left…apart from that I simply never could stand Viera and still feel like throwing up at the sight of Ballack’s uptuned, snooty nose (never did like ze germans)…
PS#1: Completely disagree about the English fans’ largesse in not giving Henry the monkey noises though. He was right in threatening to walk out – racism just doesnt have a place in the civilized world, let alone on a soccer pitch
PS#2: Loved the part about Ronny’s tartishness and his legs though:)
Nice one Mick – I enjoy your stuff in Red Issue. Keep up the good work, Scott.
Reaally great read, back to your best Scott. Mourinho for next manager if we can’t get Pep.
“a lot of people in the media have always over-praised Wenger and Arsenal mostly as a backhanded way of doing down Ferguson and United”
“the Guardian-reading Hampstead set who go on about the “beautiful game” but hate the “ugly” working class people who watch and play it.”
Hit the nail on the head!
I was reading another website last week, and a journo was expressing his disgust that Alan Shearer said he preferred our Wazza to Drogba, Torres or Van Persie. He called it xenophobia and said that Shearer was narrow-minded for choosing the English player. I remember thinking at the time that these people hate Wazza because he reminds them that football was, is and (no matter how much they try to change the fact) always will be a working class game.
I agree about the last bit. Ferguson should try and stay at united for 10 more years. Leaving the club will be the death of him. There was a bit of an inconsistency in the article because he was content that Ronaldo would leave. It is not so much about what Ronaldo had already done as what he could do in the future.
Cheers Boys – Good to read your chat together.
I love the anecdote about the old couple with the sandwiches asking if you would stop standing up – They are both Stewards at Old Trafford now.
It becomes more and more obvious that the man to replace Sir Alex Ferguson is in fact not a man at all but Cantona.
Forgot to add – Macheda definitely should be given more games and longer on the pitch. I think he could be the worlds best striker.
@RCWI : i agree with the Macheda thing. he is more of a finisher like RVN
STR..how about the nani interview
“In 2005 I was sure he was finished and should be forcibly retired.”
it looks like i and costas weren’t the only ones.
Villa shot apart, Macheda has done nothing in any of his other appearances to suggest he is a world class striker, infact he has done little to suggest he is worthy of a role in the team.
The lad needs a loan spell in The Championship.
Brilliant!
I dont hate henry. Stevie me and carra are a completely different story however. Always had this irrational hatred of Robbie Savage. What about Tevez? Ex players Paul Ince takes the biscuit. Dickhead
Great read Scott
the ABU media are narrow minded and are simply jealous of our club and fergie’s success since the inception of the premier league. i loathe fat frank tiny tears kung fued drogba stevie me and carragher and bellamy that cunt had the fucking ordasity to gesture the plane after equalising for the bitter blues unfortunately for the cunt owen provided us with a moment i’ll never forget.
@RCWI
agree mate. kiko looks like a big lad who has a bright future ahead of him.
guys i watched MUTV last night and the guest i can’t remember him was with Stuart Gardener
said that he probably thinks someone who’s likely to take over fergie should be a manager who’s won things like TNSSO or Capello. personally i don’t want maureeno he is such a cunt and he clearly would ruin the philosophy that Sir Matt and Fergie brought to the club. there’s something i’d also like to mention, i don’t like wenger he too is such a cunt who does’nt have the balls to stand up to refs like fergie! always talks dirt about our players(fletcher) and acts as if he is pure as untrampled dew!
the ABU media hail the arsewipes’ football but yet they have nothing to show for it (trophies!)
my strongest 11:
VDS
brown rio vida evra
valencia hargo ando obertan
wazza berba
I agree with Ben Foster being the future, i still believe he can, be even after a few dodgy games earlier inthe season, all that is needed is patience just like Fletcher not all players and keepers mature and develop after their first run in the team
@ hargreaves curly hair.
The guest was Kevin Moran. Excellent player he was. I dont mind Wenger too much. Hes a goo manager who gets an awful lot of shite directed towards him and his players but he never lets them down. Just like Fergie. I personally would like to see David Moyes as our next Manager orr Maybe Steve Bruce if he gets a bit better at sunderland
Not to sure about Foster either,think he was thrown into it instead of eased in every other game,think his problem is concentration..cos his shot stopping is good.Not to sure about the Henry comment either,would live to have seen him in our red,and he was right in doing what he did…no room for rascist scum anywhere.
@Tufty
i disagree mate. kiko is talented you can’t expect him to set the world alight at 18 years old, besides he can’t show what he’s capable if he’s not playing. he’s one for the future.
@Hurdy Gurdy Man
i too don’t hate henry. although i hated his former teammates there was Martin Keown, Nigel Winterburn. i also don’t like that scouse cunt Fowler,cuntevez,mascherano,lucas,the Governer. i’d have to say Fowler tops my list of most hated rival player. that guy looks like an allergic reaction.you can’t even hear him speak properly!
Pep for a replacement? He couldn’t manage his way out of a brown bag he just inherited the best team in the world, look at him this season: when barca need a tactical change to win he has no bloody idea what should be done
Great read as usual.
Off the topic, has Nani just ended his United career or has he sniffed something and is trying to appear as he is jumping rather than being pushed?
I would happily buy Nani’s ticket on the first bus out of town, but he’d probably miss that too!
Sorry for asking, but what ABU stands for?
Great article. Foster won’t make it at Utd which is a shame but its to big a stage for him. He’ll be great at Villa, sunderland etc. I think Fergie’s got his heart set on the CSKA keeper. Players to be hated, Fowler every time. A scouse scumbag who has also played for city and leeds.
@ William – I’m not sorry to say that your comment on Pep is beyond ridiculous. He inherited the best team in the world or he made them the best team in the world. I hate it when people just say things like that and clearly show that they don’t even watch those clubs playing often. This guy came from managing the reserve team and following season replaces Rijkaard, tosses Deco and Ronaldinho out and promotes Iniesta to starting 11 status. Gets the best out of Messi, Henry and Eto’o upfront, Xavi becomes the primary man in midfield and even Pique is thrust into the heart of defence. In doing all that his tactics were unmatched by any in Europe and even Rijkaard’s class of 2006 was outclassed. He broke all records along the way and last season was Barca’s most successful in their entire history of well over a hundred years. All this in his 1st stint as manager of any senior team. Imagine Solsjkaer replacing Ferguson next year and winning the quadruple. Please make commentary on things that you actually have an idea of
Great read, I like his column in Red Issue. Will never forget that Paddy quote “Listen son, in the end, you’re either Red or you’re not!” Fucking blinding. Also agree with his piece about the “Hampstead set” who bang on about Arsenal and the beautiful game. Pretentious cunts. Finally his bit about Steven Howard is spot on. The man is a tool and was only saying before the bridge how all our frailties would be shown and our weak midfield would be bullied by Chelsea. London supporting media tossers.
all this talk about nani sounds like bullshit with the papers making stuff up again, funny how the sun and another paper have it wrote in there papers but the qoutes are different???
Steve99 – Got to agree about that horrible little fat cunt Fowler. Despise him. As for Henry never liked that arrogant bastard either. Great player but what a self absorbed , self loving prick.
And what are you on about with Barca’s performance this season? They are currently top of their log and this year the competition in Spain has become tougher. Quite frankly if he becomes the man to replace Fergie then I’d be most happy, because he’ll bring something that has been lacking at United. Excellent tactics and attacking football. I don’t want to see Mourinho even returning to England let alone United. Let him stay at Inter who actually invented the type of football he advocates- Catennacio.
Fergie given 2 match ban by scum FA
This bit is my favourite…..Paul Scholes – “it’s not that he can’t tackle, it’s that he’s a Salford ginger-nut who enjoys a bit of aggro”.
I love that!!!!
Well well well.
What do you know!
Manchester United’s annual unprecedented punishment from the FA.
Ferguson should just stand on the touchline and ignore this ridiculous ban. Time to get tough on these referees too. They should get abuse from the first minute to the last minute and our players should walk off the field if they start cheating us as usual. We used to win in spite of referees but not whenever they produce a 3 goal swing such as against Chelsea.
Agree Brett
We were not given the chance to score 2 easy goals, plus their goal should have never taken place
We aren’t asking for favours, all we want is some justice and fair refereeing
Giving only 5 mins of extra time, and then Chelsea make a 1min sub, the referee is so blatantly biased as he only allowed for 5, obviously breaking the rules to favour ABUs
The 2 match ban is ridiculous! it seems like the ABUs are once again getting stronger and the FA doesn’t want us to win the league this year!
I really hope we can show them what our team is made of in the two games without Sir Alex (if the touchline ban really stands)!
@AustrianDevil : always remember, ‘Our History makes Us Strong , Your Hate makes Us Stronger’
Say what you will but ronaldhino is a player past his prime and a good bit of business let him go, at 31 they needed a replacement and with iniesta in the ranks a money could choose him as a creative partner to Xavier who simply put had the season of his career. Henry needed a season to settle and he had when pep Became the first team manager. Messi had established great link up play with eto’o an watching any match the link up play between the two has nothing todo with pep watching from the sidelines in expensive suits. The trade of eto’o for ibrahimovic might be good, we don’t know yet but the man had only scored what 4 champions league goals prior to his arrival? He fails to show up in major games while eto’o has scored in two european finals. Iniestas case is similar to piqué, he’s a powerful defender with vision and a but of an eye for goal with the formation they play he can cut out into midfield more effectively than any other defender pep recognized this and pushed him in. Let’s face it, if the ref showed up at Stamford bridge they wouldn’t have made it to the final of the European cup.
just for laughs how bout fsw replaces fergi…lol……since the yanks love him so much?
Fergie for life, or Giggs/Cantona. Like redknap too.
Top contributor to Red Issue. Always a good read.
More than any other bit, I agree with him about condescending nature of the media that incessantly coos over Arsenal. They’ll never come to terms with how we’ve managed to scupper Arsenal‘s pursuit of success, all whilst setting unprecedented standards ourselves.
let darren ferguson manage at aberdeen for awhile, and so if he can do the job up there!
if he shows he has the talent,charisma, and ability,to break the the old firm stranglehold in scotland, send him to united and let his ascendancy begin.
let’s do it don vito corleone to michael corleone, godfather style, and keep it in the family.
then we just have to arrange the assassinations of ancelotti, rafa, venger, sparky (for going against the family) and the heads of the other big clubs to consolidate darren’s power.
yeah this is silly, but does anybody else have a better idea on how to replace sir alex?
i quite agree….. henry is a wanker…… viera, keown, terry, drogba, carragher, gerrard are all donkey ball suckers
Tufty — Kiko played well against CSKA, he was way more involved than Owen and rarely gave the ball away.
A great read. Lights up my day
About Henry, well i’m not really sure who i hate the most, but Henry’s got to be one of them. His finger-to-the-lips celebration is the celebration i hate the most. And i think he is the starter of a trend where direct free-kicks are quickly taken, resulting in stupid goals because GKs were not ready yet for the kick. Plus when he celebrated that stupid goals with that celebration. ARGGHH. Furthermore, the media kept on calling “what a clever player he is” for taking the freekicks quickly, instead of calling him a coward. And when Rooney took that quick cornerkick to Giggs (last season i think), which took everybody by suprise, even though by the book that cornerkick is perfectly legal, the media called us cheat. LOL. Blatant ABU act.
I don’t get quick free-kicks.
Why do referees often step away quickly as if they’re a part of the move, or sometimes stand stationary next to the ball? They’re deceptive actions that immediately hand an unfair advantage to the taker.
Referees think they’re smartasses by allowing it. Look at ‘henry quick freekick’ on YouTube. I think it’s Clattenburg who is nodding enthusiastically at Henry. It’s crap, as the majority of the time the referees are so pedantic about free-kicks, often making sure the setup is perfect before allowing them.
That is true about Henry the amount of quick free kicks he took was astonishingly high no other club even came close to taking quick free kicks. Regarding United I can only remember one vs Lille and that had the opposition walking off the pitch in protest!.
Drew – Difference is though mate, Owen got a goal.
me too think SAF should retired in 2005…zzz how narrow minded i am…
@ juno
A- Anybody
B- But
U- United
Great read, thoroughly enjoyed it.
Thanks Scott & Mick Hume for taking your time out to do this.
When we come to the time of finding some one when Sir Alex leaves I would hope we get a United player….some one we cares about the history of the club and what it means. Some one who would have the same never say die attitude, and some one who will know that no one or nothing is bigger than United.
I would hope we have Giggs putting his hand up, he along with Cantona and Ole will have the above attitude.
However I hope when Sir Alex’s time is over as manager he knows it and does not drag on just like that, their is a thing in sports about legends not knowing when to stop(hope its not soon though!)