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Keep This Man Away From Old Trafford

When the trademarked Special One was at Chelsea, I was an advocate of him. No doubt he brought something interesting to the table that other foreign managers simply don’t. Wenger, Benitez and the rest are generally as dull as dishwater. And as much as we already had cause to dislike him for his hop, skip and a jump down the Old Trafford touchline after being robbed by his lucky Porto side, there was always that respect factor for a man that was achieving trophy hauls in what appeared to be a new manner. His players worshipped him openly, and more often than not rewarded him with pots of silver. He surely could manage any team on earth and be successful..?

Fast forward several years…

Jose is now lauding it at Real Madrid, the other Biggest Club in the World. He has taken their once famous football philosophy, shoved it firmly in a skip, and has implemented the famous tactics he has successfully employed at Chelsea and Inter. Physical strength, coupled with rigid tactics, can defeat any opponent put in his side’s way. That is except the modern day Barcelona.

His teams’ actions, but more worryingly his own at the Community Shield of Spain in yet another El Classico, leaves an incredibly bitter taste in the mouth. Mourinho’s own attempt to take advantage of the melee that occurred in front of his dugout to go over to a Barca coach and gouge him in the right eye, well, I simply have never seen this happen in our game before. A manager, the leader, showing his troops exactly what they should be doing to their opponent. It disrespects football and frankly makes him look like a mental.

The relevance of writing about this of course comes from one of the stranger assumptions in English football, that is that Mourinho will indeed be the next United manager after Fergie hangs up his chewing gum riddled boots. People think several reasons point to this: That Jose ‘loves’ England; that Sir Alex and Mourinho are best, wine-quaffing buddies; that United would only want the most successful manager they could obtain; That United learned a generation of pain worth of a lesson after the end of the Busby era, employing men not fit to stand in the great warhorse’s shadow. It’s so simple! It can only be the Special One for the world’s Special Club?


When Mourinho was given his cards by Abramovich I would’ve taken him as our next manager in a heart beat. Football is a seductive business and trophies are a fan’s aphrodisiac. Jose knew how to win. We all want a bit of that. But what I’ve witnessed in the last few years of the man stinks. He’s still managed to maintain his levels of success, taking that Inter team to Champions of Europe. Well, who would have guessed? But the way they and he did it, playing that brand of Anti-Football, it simply turns me off. It’s like seeing that absolutely gorgeous woman from afar, only to get close to her and smell her stinking, rotten breath. There’s still going be loads of lads that will look past this and be happy with her, but us at United? We wouldn’t be able to get that stench out of our nostrils!

Does this make me and United fans who agree seem pompous? Maybe. But the fact remains. I don’t want to spend thousands of £s of my own money every season to follow a team that makes me want to fall asleep as soon as the first whistle is blown. Success is often taken as something that must be achieved at all cost. In many ways that is correct. But United, like Madrid, have a tradition. Porto, Chelsea and Inter are by no means small clubs. But they were teams starved of the biggest trophies, desperate to get up that ladder at any cost. Jose preys on this. He delivers the gold and you pay him the booty he demands. He is the modern day pirate. As he did with both Porto and Inter “Here is your European Cup trophy, now I’m off to the next ship of fools.”

Mourinho will always be a man of success. He will always find a way and these are not traits of a bad manager. But I question the man. I question his integrity. Would we be happy for Sir Alex to go over and gouge at the eye of Villa-Boas? Of course not. It’s disgusting. There are many bad things happening in football and indeed the world at the minute, but as far as an isolated incident goes, with a manager on the touchline, it even makes Arsene Wenger mounting the Old Trafford dugout seem 100% sane and normal. It’s an act against the will of football. It’s sneaky and incendiary. It’s something that you may never see in top flight football again.

So I implore David Gill and his cronie bosses from across the pond to think hard about the Sir Alex exit strategy. The heart of Manchester United is what we’re considering here. We want success, of course we do, but do we need a man who now presents himself as an enemy against the Beautiful Game?

Ex-United player Gerard Pique said after the match the other night: “Someone has to take action, Mourinho is destroying Spanish football. It is going too far. This will end very badly.”

The man is totally right. Mourinho doesn’t care how Spanish football is viewed. He doesn’t even care if he is caught on video, reaching round a man’s face to claw his fingers into his eyeball. For Jose its just another act of war.

A certain Mancunian God once wrote a song called ‘Barbarism Begins At Home’. Lets hope our home, Old Trafford, avoids such an unlucky fate. If Mourinho wants to make football his slave and make it implode in chaos, let us not give him the Theatre of Dreams as his stage to do it.

Follow Rob B on Twitter



  1. smartalex says:

    How close?

  2. smartalex says:

    Would they be missed?

  3. smartalex says:

    How many family members does one really need?

  4. CedarsDevil says:

    smartalex – lol

    Actually its just a nephew who is a die hard Pool supporter…….. Seeing that I have a handful of nephews and nieces, I could probably waste him!! hahaha

  5. Balaji Sivaraman says:

    @coomy, As Stateside has stated, whenever a company applies for an IPO, they have to mention in the document submitted to the exchange as to the purpose of the offering and how they will utilize the money from it. If they mention that they are going to use it to clear of the club’s debts in the document, then they simply have to do it. If they don’t, it is a fraud and they are liable to legal action. Of course, the chink in the armor is that we have no idea what they are going to mention in the document.

    @Stateside, Thank you for the crash course on investing. I knew most of it already, but it was well worth the read.

    @smartalex and Cedars, Good morning to you both, hope you are doing well!

  6. smartalex says:

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!

    I suppose it’s good to keep your ‘enemies’ close!

    Someone to make fun of and upset, with reminders like ’19′!

  7. smartalex says:

    @Balaji, Good morning buddy! Happy Matchday, sir!

  8. kungfoocantona says:


    i didnt litterally mean every1 it was more of a sarcastic from belfast talkin about ur general fan who talks shite sayin we get all the decisions etc, ya no the bitter people im talkin about and the answer to the question of me dealing accordingly..absolutly, we have the greatest manager of all time managing our side(that remark tends to get a reaction to especially from the scouse tramps over here).

    i do believe he would b a great manager for united if it were to happen but i also want fergie to last forever…however having said that my first choice would be steve bruce but then again im slightly biased

  9. CedarsDevil says:

    smartalex – I remind him every day buddy, he is a great lad and loves to dish it out as well! Keeps inviting me to England with promises of a hospitality trip to bloody Anfield!!

    Balaji – How are you my friend… Really looking forward for tonight I am sure

  10. Costas says:

    Hey Balaji. Hope you are well. Sadly it’s not a matchday for me. Argh.

  11. smartalex says:

    @kungfoocantona – As CedarsDevil says, their jealousy of our unrelenting success has turned them all into haters, and there is the upside where we can easily deflate their hate with any number of reminders, quotes or statistics. Keep up the good work buddy! I also like Steve Bruce for manager, a good option in my opinion. He is such a gentle man, yet has proven strength and love for United.

  12. Balaji Sivaraman says:

    Costas, Cedars and smartalex, Cheers mates! I am doing great apart from the God-forsaken heat. Might get about 5-7 days off next week for Eid celebrations, really looking forward to it.

    Really looking forward to the match as well, good that Scott has a new thread up for it.

    Costas, lol, you have a birthday bash right. At lest, you know well in advance. A few years ago, I was in the middle of the United-Spurs home game when I got a call from my friend asking me to come to the hotel to celebrate his bday bash, though technically his bday was a few days later. I was aboslutely pissed because the game was interestingly poised, but this guy was like my closest friend. We ended up winning the match I think and I clearly informed my friends that whatever plans had to be informed to me a few days in advance. Have not taken such chances since then at all.

  13. lordrt says:

    am just thinking how funny it would have been if he was at old trafford, and aiming a kick at someone like balotelli, or aiming a punch at mancini after a brawl broken out due to united scoring in added time to win

  14. Costas says:


    Oh, that would piss me off even more. Damn friends, lol. I was really looking forward to seeing DDG’s OT debut tonight. :(

    The last time I missed a United game was 04-05 when we lost to Portsmouth 2-0. Some might say I was luck to miss it. ;)

  15. kungfoocantona says:


    agreed mate but then the real jealousy is because our sucess has been based upon youth and not buying everyman and his dog for silly amounts. we prove that u dont have to buy the best to be the best and as long as sir alex is there we will keep on being successful. i think its envy but they wont admit it.

    steve bruce was always my first choice as i believe he would have, like fergie the clubs be interests at heart. i hope he isnt over looked wen it comes to choosing the next man for the job because he hasnt managed a top club, but im sure fergie and gill will be aware of his potential.

  16. Phil says:

    100% agree

  17. FletchTHEMAN says:

    Stateside, Thanks for the clarification. Quite right. 2B total, not 4x 2B.

  18. Alexander says:

    This is moronic. Scott, I always respect you’re writing, but some of the stuff you write is rather odd. I’m not gonna beginning by defending Mourinho and in fact, far from it; But let’s face it, Guardiola is no saint himself and he frequently gets under the skin of Mourinho. Jose Mourinho is rude, obnoxious and an arrogant individual; yes, he is a brilliant tactician and connects with his team very well, but has no personality like Sir Alex Ferguson to back it up.

    But it’s absolutely disgusting how everyone seems to overlook the problem that is FC Barcelona. In all honesty, they play stunning football that seems to mesmerism the pitch with their playing. But behind the curtain, we’ve seen a diving, moaning, bitching and low blow Barcelona that people seem to forget. They use these tactics to get under the skin of various teams, in particular Mourinho.

    A lot of United fans want Guardiola to succeed Sir Alex Ferguson when in fact, Guardiola is WORSE than Mourinho. Guardiola is nothing more than an average coach that just HAPPENED to have the right team composition. Let’s compare for a second – Sir Alex Ferguson took over United and MADE them great because he is great himself. Guardiola took over a Barcelona team that was already arranged and simply gave them motivation. Besides that of course, he gave them cheap tactics too.

    Mourinho himself does teach his teams some low tactics, but Guardiola is worse. Yet for some reason, people seem to point the finger at Mourinho rather than Guardiola.

  19. smartalex says:


    Your angry comment attacks us all for not seeing what seems obvious to you.

    Learn to open your eyes, before focussing so blinkered on everyone else.

    You did not bother to read the article properly. It is not written by the man you are blaming.

  20. StatesideAussie says:

    Alexander … what you say about Guardiola is not true. You are simply recounting “what everyone knows”, except that what everyone knows in this case is mostly all wrong. I know this, because I too used to believe the same shit. Until I went and checked the histoyr and the facts for myself.

    The myth is that Guardiola was fortunate enough to inherit a Barcelona team that was already in place, already strutting its stuff, and already at its peak; all he had to do )and he has done) is to keep it on track. However, Barcelona had been a club in some disarray. Ijn the 10 years before Guardiola took over, they won the league 4 times, the CL once, the Copa del Rey once, and went through 6 managers. Even 4 league titles in 10 years is not that impressive, considering the general uncompetitive nature of La Liga.

    The club Guardiola “inherited” was certainly powerful. It was also undeniably dysfunctional — under-performing. Nor did Guardiola simply run with what he was given. He immediately brought in Alves and Piquet, promoted Busquets from the youth team and sold off high profile star Ronaldhino. A year later, Deco and Zambrotta were also shipped out. There were a number of other lesser transfers in and out, and one or two that obviously work (such as Ibra), but those listed above were all key decisions.

    Perhaps his most important contribution, though, was to introduce the tika-taka style that he himself had learned in the youth teams, but which at that time was not a trademark of the senior team. The decision to base the team around Xavi, Iniesta and Messi was Guardiola’s (the players were all regulars by then but not in the same way), as was the focus on tika-taka and constant pressing. Has Gaurdiola built mutliple, champion teams from the ground up, like Sir Alex. No, of course not. Nor has anyone else. But it’s just not right to say he had it all handed to him on a plate and simply had to avoid fucking it up.

  21. Zalee says:

    For me, i think mourinho is showing what he felt about the game with barcelona. mourinho n guardiola are a great coach for their team. but if you did saw the game, you will get angry with barcelona with their acting on the field. and i even don’t care what that shit pique said, for me la liga are already on the verge of destruction as what we can see now. duopoly destroy the league n is not just mourinho fault.


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