For years we’ve been talking about what a diver Steven Gerrard is. Liverpool fans tend to turn a blind eye, pretending that their captain is like what the song says, “fucking hard”. To acknowledge that he actually dived and cheated like someone who learnt to play the game on the continent would be a tad embarrassing. So like they pretend he didn’t hand in transfer requests to leave his “beloved club” for Chelsea, they pretend he doesn’t dive.
Now, whenever a Liverpool fan hears the “Gerrard is a diver” argument from a United fan, they immediately go “Yeh, but what about Ronaldo?”. Granted, Ronaldo is a soft lad who goes to ground far too easily. He doesn’t dive like he used to but we’re not blind, we can see he does it on occasion, and we don’t like it.
However, Ronaldo is a poncy Portuguese lad, who plays the game with every single hair in place, who wears short shorts, who whips off his shirt for the ladies whenever given the opportunity, and who generally irritates the shit out of football fans, United’s included. Why the fuck would Liverpool fans want to compare their captain to fucking Ronaldo?
Jokes are made repeatedly about Ronaldo’s diving. I remember watching Match of the Day last season with that big-eared cunt talking about the sprinkler system at Old Trafford. “Maybe it’s so Ronaldo can practice his dives?” Lineker mused. Chortle, chortle.
How about this country recognises what a diver Gerrard is? Big and fucking hard? There are girls in the playground who fall over less easily than him! Gerrard is a diver.
In their victory over Chelsea this evening, Gerrard was booked by Mike Riley for a shameful dive outside the penalty area. Considering that Gerrard should have already been on a yellow card for a poor tackle followed by shouting at the referee (apparently the ‘Respect the Ref’ campaign doesn’t apply to Stevie Me), that dive should have seen him given his marching orders.
The game that was tipped as ‘must win’ by both sides ended in Liverpool’s favour, Fernando Torres bailing out his team once more. Whilst many Liverpool fans will be ecstatic this evening, talking up their title challenge again following a few weeks of depression of draw after draw, today’s result only papered over the cracks. They were at home, they played against ten men for half an hour (with arguably Chelsea’s best player sent off on the hour mark) and still could only break the deadlock with two minutes left to play.
A draw would have been the best result for us, but essentially, the cards are still all in our hands. We have the easier fixtures, we’re two points clear despite playing a game less, and have a better goal difference.
It would take a very brave man to bet against United making it three in a row this season, particularly when looking at who the competition for our crown is!
The RoM 2018-19 Season Preview is available for just £6. It includes an EXCLUSIVE interview with Juan Mata, a Q&A with the country's top journalists, articles by brilliant United writers, and so much more. All profit goes to Trafford Macmillan so please support this fantastic cause.