There are stomachs knotted all over Manchester. Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur too. Whether Stockport or Stockholm bred, bitter blue or #mufcfamily red, there are whole swaths of people around the world feeling an uneasy mixture of hope and fear. It’s because there’s a football match on next Monday that matters quite a lot to them.
It really shouldn’t matter this much. Usually it’s quite easy(ish) to be philosophical about football. You can’t win them all, it’s only a game, etc, etc. But this time it’s different. Because this time the joy of winning is counter-balanced by the potential catastrofuck of losing. A bit like a ravenous midget at the butchers, it’s as if the
stakes are just too high to bear.
Winning the league at the expense of your most bitter of rivals would be sweeter than Katherine Jenkins fashioned from candyfloss and coated by hundreds and thousands (behave). But losing, it’s just…aaarrgh. It would be insufferable. It would be literally impossible to suffer (student meaning of the word ‘literal’ there). Especially for those of us who have the misfortune to share classrooms, workplaces and favourite tweed retailers with that other lot.
How bloody exciting though.
Isn’t it fucking ace to feel such heightened emotions. Isn’t it special to have a thing or occasion in your life that matters so much. Of course it makes you feel a bit sick, or a lot sick even. It because it’s fucking visceral, man. It grabs you by the lapels like Eric Morecambe and shakes you awake. It’s the kind of thing that reminds you that you’re still properly alive and able to feel such feelings, when work and bills and work would have you slowly die.
So cherish this week. Cherish the hysteria that’s welling up inside you. Love it, love the crap out of it. Because some people never feel this. They just don’t. It’s great to be invested in something that makes you feel physically ill for caring. And it may sound dramatic, but you might not experience something like this ever again. So be
glad it’s happening.
The love of a football club is like any other love. It really isn’t a victory march. But you’ve got to be all in and be prepared to have your heart broken and smashed to bits, otherwise it’s no love at all. Enjoy the anticipation, and the potential beauty of what could be. Even if it could turn out shit. Because it’s what we endure all the
hours of blandness for. Stuff that truly matters.
Man Utd News 24/7
fucken great article. im so excited for the game.
FUCK THE BITTERS
It’s a holy and a broken Hallelujah
Nice article by the Bearded Genius, one thing I would argue though, the love of a football club is NOT like any other love…. Its sacred and divine, all other types of love may come and go, some even may turn to hatred but NEVER the love of a football club
It’s a love that’s given me premature grey hair.
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Excellent. For many , for many men. It’s the passion which mat not be displayed with such passion in any other way. The double edged sword. Extreme happiness or total ( though temporary ) dejection. It’s what many people men in particular seem to love about football and may I add spouses hate. Its one of the few times we show such passion openly. All clubs fans with that kind of support , even city. Great article .
Mirrors my feelings.The shock a week ago was bad enough. A poor result on monday is unthinkable.Doom merchants please stay away.
-Cedars you said it perfectly.
Great post!
In South Africa too
Top, top article. It’s what football is all about, whether it be supporting United, or a kickabout in the park. One of the few occasions that life affords us to let loose all our passions.
Great post from Bearded Genius..
You’re right abt one thing.. so many people don’t feel the pain, excitement, hysteria that football brings..
I personally am still deciding whether to watch the match or not.. but after reading that.. i guess I should.. this would be cherishing it and like you said these circumstances may be hard to experience again..
@Alom: Fuck man, we need every RED heart behind every TV in every land beating for the lads this Monday – of course you HAVE TO watch it! It’s WAR mate, and now is the time for all good men to come to the aid of the party!
Finding it hard to Eat, Bloody Hell Football hey???
Come on you Reds just do it !!
Personally my mood (I’m sure I speak for a lot of fellow reds) during the week ahead is always tempered by the the last football result ,needless to say since last Sunday I’ve been a nervous wreck and just want this game to be over and done with .It hasnt been helped with the Chavs getting to the final and the realisation that the dippers might get a cup double either.. It almost seems that the footballing Gods have conspired against us and that all hope is lost . My head says Shitty will beat us but tbh I’m a pessimist at the best of times .there have been countless times under Fergies reign when we’ve had our backs against the wall and been written off but triumphed against adversity.Now a lot of people will say I’m doom-mongering but I’d like to think I’m more of a realist when it comes to judging an opponent or match . Shitty have a better midfield,maybe strike force and probably defence too and (after our capitulation against everton I’d hate to see what its done phsycologically) they definately have the momentum ……BUT this is where the “spark” comes in .The “GOD Particle” (if u want to call it that)..the special “D.N.A” that makes us who we are , the reason why so many of us support Utd . It is the ability to overcome the biggest of hurdles I dont know where it originates from …maybe Munich to begin with through Sir Matt and on to Sir Alex. So after all is said and done it will all come down to Monday night 11 v 11 . If we win it will be beautiful if not it will hurt …a lot. But just rememember its not the be end and end all because for us as a Club/family we had our Death and Ressurection on that fateful day in Munich . As i say to a lot of fellow Reds “its all in the name we are UNITED”..
Great article expressing exactly how many are feeling…. am now looking with pity at the ignorant rest, who just dont know what an occasion this will be! The danger of the ‘catastrophe’ makes it even more exciting!
No more wait for me will drink myself into a stupor and wake up on Monday !
Great post from Singh7. “In the name of all that’s UNITED….”
I admire this post so much. Coz I’ve been hoping for someone to come along with positivity and to tell me not to worry so much! However, the knots in my stomach have not untangled one bit! If anything they’re worse. And I expect them to continue in that way until kick-off. I’m actually worried that through nerves I’m going to drink too much before it even begins that i’ll see it in a total haze. It’s happened before! However, I’ll be glue like the rest of you on here and Jeet is correct, we need every Red to man on Monday night. hopefully the team will feel it. COME ON THE CHAMPIONS…..20 PLEAAAASSSSEEE
*GLUED!
Can you imagine the atmposphere if this had been @ OT? Sigh…
Viva football!!
Viva UNITED!!!
Viva MG
I think this lengthy gap between the everton and butters game is a great thing got us. Given us time and players to overcome the emotional turmoil that is the united run in. Come Monday let’s hope it’s cit hey blue shedding tears over his stars . Sorry … Forgot to say blue cunts
Great article. I just got my husband to read it, because he doesn’t get football.
I like the use of “catastrofuck”, that’s a great word.
Though no wordsmith , I have made up my celebratory ode should we won. Not posting it until the fat lady sings.
Jeer- correct. Football for men is often one if the few mediums through which they feel comfortable expressing strong passion. And also hatred of others without fear of persecution . Collective joy laughing at others ( scouse bitters et al) misfortune. Love it.
Jeet not jeer. Typo . Sorry mate
Ha! No worries, Redwilly
Haha- if we win Monday may well paint it . Won’t rake me long
If the unthinkable happens. I wish the red fans could all turn around cheering with 19 across every back . Haha
Don’t “rake” it – just use a hoe!
Nice post Bearded Genius! Little disappointed you didn’t sign it off with one of your trademark photo’s! Summed it up perfectly. This is why we follow Manchester United. Much like a crazy ass roller coaster ride at a theme park! We’re scared of whats coming, but embrace it anyway! United!!
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
She’s waited for
- from Singapore with love
You either meet them head on and take them apart one by one or go down doing it the only way you know how
19
You know what’s coming then…
That was for Cedars
19
I thought Bearded Genius was a City fan off Sabotage times?
MG
Thanks my friend…….You and I among my others on here share the true love that is United, this magical football club brings us closer than any other thing the world has to offer.
UNITED
How beautifully poignant.
I think tht captures what we’re all feeling perfectly.
This is what loving your club is all about.
Excellent post
personally I’m dreading the game, I think we can at least draw against the Bitters but am so goddamn nervous about losing and them going on to win the title, just hope we can tighten up at the back, strangle their mid-field and use our wingers to cut through their defence and supply Rooney
prediction 1-2
GREAT ARTICLE GREAT READ IT SHOULD BE READ TO THE TEAM JUST BEFORE KICK OFF! I REALLY REALLY REALLY HOPE WE FUCKIN WIN ON MONDAY IM GONNA DANCE AROUND LIKE AN IDIOT RIGHT UNDERNEATH ALL THE BLUE NOSE TWATS!!!UP THE REDS
epic piece, fergie could take a few quotes from that for the pre game chat monday!!!! COME ON UNITED!!!!!!!!!
Fuck! Lets bring on monday night. This weekend wont be a good one. just get it over with and rip those mercenaries to shreads. Show them what a real team looks like and god forbid, I wish I could be on Wastelands this monday.
All Reds that enters the dragons den lets fuckin show them what colour Manchester really is made of!
The weeks break will have been ideal for the Lads, eradicate the shock and doubts and back to the fucking grindstone . Classic gutsy no fucking nonsense united performance please . And nani, multiple backflips post scoring please.
Fucking great article… Feeling more pumped every minute that goes by
BELIEVE
Not too often to post some comments here, but came here a lot to read the articles.
This derby is one of the hardest Manchester derby has ever played.
But I’m sure Utd is gonna take some positive results at emptihad.
We’re all United fans in Jakarta and all cities in Indonesia wish all the best for our beloved club.
Go For No.20 !!!
Champ20ns..BEL20VE !!!
Just wonder where bearded genius comes from since he mentioned Jakarta (Indonesia), which is one of the biggest United fan base in the world..cheers for us as United..!!
Come on United! Great article and it’s awesome that you mentioned Kuala Lumpur! Lose or win, United till I die!
I have been a Man Utd since i was 8 years old, now i’m 30, and i just can’t describe how much i was disappointed last week after the Game against Everton..It was so painful, i just felt like we have surrenderd the title ,just imagining Tevez and co lifting the Trophy is making me sick to my stomach.I’m sure i’m gonna through up ,if,God forbid,Shitty ended up winning.It’s a great feeling to be in love with United.It really gives me an unbelievable feeling , but i can’t tell if my heart could handle the pressure…Please Man United …don’t break our hearts .
King Eric- AFAIK he’s a PhotoShop genius off of Twitter. If you joined you would know
I am gonna absolutely relish it. I cannot wait for the 30th. It’s eating me up here. Win or lose, all I ask is for the lads to give it their all and for the away support to sing till their throats become dry.
Cedars
UNITED
19
Cue: Guns N Roses – Aint It Fun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQr1W-dJWiw
MG
UNITED
19
We won’t be denied!
great article, not sure whether to head to the pub to watch the game, or listen to the play by play commentary or just sit in the dark until the game is over. All excited but nervous. joy and fear.
Wow, havent felt this way since the Champions League penalty shhotout.
Love this club ……………
No Willie we won’t
19
Hell yeah. Excellent piece. One of my friends’ dad used to say men are only allowed to cry on three occasions: the death of his parents, the birth of his children and the loss of his football team.
Words cant explain how I’m feeling. The last time I had dis kinda feeln was the UCL Final in Wembley. Cant wait for Monday to roll in. #mufc
Dont post often but i’ve been supporting Utd for well over 50 years. I dont ever remember feeling as keyed up as this before a derby and that includes the cup semis of recent years. I’m sure we wont lose it. We had our wake up call last Sunday. The neighbours have become a little noisier again this week so it will make it all the more sweet when we once again shut them up. It could have a lasting effect on them if they lose this one. Come on United. Believe !!
Over rated writer, don’t get what all the fuss is about.
This is the one
This is the one
This is the one
Oh this is the one
This is the one
I’ve waited for
It may go right
But it might go wrong
This is the one
This is the one
She’s waited for
From Jakarta with Loves
One of the best articles (if not the best) I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading on this site. Fantastically summed up on what it means to love your club and how privileged we all are to have found this one. Victory will lead to the hangover from hell on Tuesday morning while defeat…..actually let’s not go there. This is what it’s all about, this is why we are blessed to support United. Cherish these times, bring on Monday night and as Delia would say, “LETS BE ‘AVIN YOU”.
Spot the bitter on this thread. Eminem!
Been a United fan since Norman Whiteside smashed in the winner in the FA Cup final when I was 8… Very few times have I felt that a game was so important, very nervous. There’s a lot at stake on Monday… but still points to play for after. I’d hate to win and then drop points against Sunderland away. We can’t let ourselves get carried away, throw everything in to the match, and leave nothing in the tank for the next 2 matches. Tough balance to get right.
C’mon United… bring 20 home.
uMMa guMMa what a buMMer.
Perhaps you can mesmerise us with a little prose of your own?
Just for reference.
Wow..u mention about kuala lumpur..u can find lotz of united fans there
UNITED
From Pakistan. Loads of fans here too.
good article.. i am shivering and restless bout tomorrow game with #mymanutd from Malaysia..
Article totally changed my outlook on this game and actually made me feel a lot more calm ahead of it. We should be grateful we are part of this drama and no matter the outcome I will feel blessed that I was born a United fan.