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Love is not a victory march…

There are stomachs knotted all over Manchester. Jakarta and Kuala Lumpur too. Whether Stockport or Stockholm bred, bitter blue or #mufcfamily red, there are whole swaths of people around the world feeling an uneasy mixture of hope and fear. It’s because there’s a football match on next Monday that matters quite a lot to them.

It really shouldn’t matter this much. Usually it’s quite easy(ish) to be philosophical about football. You can’t win them all, it’s only a game, etc, etc. But this time it’s different. Because this time the joy of winning is counter-balanced by the potential catastrofuck of losing. A bit like a ravenous midget at the butchers, it’s as if the
stakes are just too high to bear.

Winning the league at the expense of your most bitter of rivals would be sweeter than Katherine Jenkins fashioned from candyfloss and coated by hundreds and thousands (behave). But losing, it’s just…aaarrgh. It would be insufferable. It would be literally impossible to suffer (student meaning of the word ‘literal’ there). Especially for those of us who have the misfortune to share classrooms, workplaces and favourite tweed retailers with that other lot.

How bloody exciting though.

Isn’t it fucking ace to feel such heightened emotions. Isn’t it special to have a thing or occasion in your life that matters so much. Of course it makes you feel a bit sick, or a lot sick even. It because it’s fucking visceral, man. It grabs you by the lapels like Eric Morecambe and shakes you awake. It’s the kind of thing that reminds you that you’re still properly alive and able to feel such feelings, when work and bills and work would have you slowly die.

So cherish this week. Cherish the hysteria that’s welling up inside you. Love it, love the crap out of it. Because some people never feel this. They just don’t. It’s great to be invested in something that makes you feel physically ill for caring. And it may sound dramatic, but you might not experience something like this ever again. So be
glad it’s happening.

The love of a football club is like any other love. It really isn’t a victory march. But you’ve got to be all in and be prepared to have your heart broken and smashed to bits, otherwise it’s no love at all. Enjoy the anticipation, and the potential beauty of what could be. Even if it could turn out shit. Because it’s what we endure all the
hours of blandness for. Stuff that truly matters.



  1. WillieRedNut says:



    19 ;) We won’t be denied!

  2. knobby6styling says:

    great article, not sure whether to head to the pub to watch the game, or listen to the play by play commentary or just sit in the dark until the game is over. All excited but nervous. joy and fear.
    Wow, havent felt this way since the Champions League penalty shhotout.

  3. Redbilly says:

    Love this club ……………

  4. MG says:

    No Willie we won’t


  5. zd.utd says:

    Hell yeah. Excellent piece. One of my friends’ dad used to say men are only allowed to cry on three occasions: the death of his parents, the birth of his children and the loss of his football team.

  6. Take me to Old Trafford says:

    Words cant explain how I’m feeling. The last time I had dis kinda feeln was the UCL Final in Wembley. Cant wait for Monday to roll in. #mufc

  7. Phil Hyde Red says:

    Dont post often but i’ve been supporting Utd for well over 50 years. I dont ever remember feeling as keyed up as this before a derby and that includes the cup semis of recent years. I’m sure we wont lose it. We had our wake up call last Sunday. The neighbours have become a little noisier again this week so it will make it all the more sweet when we once again shut them up. It could have a lasting effect on them if they lose this one. Come on United. Believe !!

  8. MM says:

    Over rated writer, don’t get what all the fuss is about.

  9. @omare_ says:

    This is the one
    This is the one
    This is the one
    Oh this is the one

    This is the one
    I’ve waited for

    It may go right
    But it might go wrong
    This is the one
    This is the one
    She’s waited for

    From Jakarta with Loves

  10. byron1970 says:

    One of the best articles (if not the best) I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading on this site. Fantastically summed up on what it means to love your club and how privileged we all are to have found this one. Victory will lead to the hangover from hell on Tuesday morning while defeat…..actually let’s not go there. This is what it’s all about, this is why we are blessed to support United. Cherish these times, bring on Monday night and as Delia would say, “LETS BE ‘AVIN YOU”.

  11. WillieRedNut says:

    Spot the bitter on this thread. Eminem!

  12. kev e says:

    Been a United fan since Norman Whiteside smashed in the winner in the FA Cup final when I was 8… Very few times have I felt that a game was so important, very nervous. There’s a lot at stake on Monday… but still points to play for after. I’d hate to win and then drop points against Sunderland away. We can’t let ourselves get carried away, throw everything in to the match, and leave nothing in the tank for the next 2 matches. Tough balance to get right.

    C’mon United… bring 20 home.

  13. Albert Ross says:

    uMMa guMMa what a buMMer.

    Perhaps you can mesmerise us with a little prose of your own?

    Just for reference.

  14. zul_fletcher says:

    Wow..u mention about kuala lumpur..u can find lotz of united fans there :-)

  15. Moscow Delight says:


    From Pakistan. Loads of fans here too.

  16. immortal11 says:

    good article.. i am shivering and restless bout tomorrow game with #mymanutd from Malaysia..

  17. Fred the RED says:

    Article totally changed my outlook on this game and actually made me feel a lot more calm ahead of it. We should be grateful we are part of this drama and no matter the outcome I will feel blessed that I was born a United fan.


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