Wayne Rooney has today apologised for “his side” of things. I’m not sure who else is to blame, given that he pays Paul Stretford’s salary, but there we go. The fans have finally got the apology we were looking for.

“I feel like I have apologised to the fans but everyone keeps saying that I haven’t,” he said. “If that is the case, then I apologise for my side of things. I have made my point clear since I signed my contract that I am committed to this club for the long term. I want to be successful here.”

Sadly though, Rooney follows up his apology with a lie.

“Everyone is saying that I was definitely going to Manchester City,” he continued. “Believe me if I had gone it wouldn’t have been in England.”

1. You don’t tell the world’s press that you are leaving your current club in October if no deal has been agreed with another club. He 100% had spoken to at least one other club behind United’s back.

2. Whilst unable to name the people who have all separately told me that it was nailed on Rooney was going to City, you will just have to trust me when I say they are incredibly well informed. There is no way I would choose to believe Rooney was going to City or stress that point if I didn’t believe it to be true. It’s embarrassing for us that our best player would want to leave us for that lot and I would much rather he was trying to leave us for Chelsea or Barcelona. But that just isn’t the case.

3. There was no way on this earth him and ‘girl next door’ Coleen were heading to Spain. Both their families are in the North West, they don’t speak a word of Spanish, wouldn’t know what culture was if it smacked them in the face, and Coleen has a very poorly sister who she wouldn’t move that far away from.




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