Chris Smalling was my Man of the Match yesterday, putting in a composed and confident performance that would have been unfair to have expected from the youngster in his first Manchester derby. Carlos Tevez didn’t get a sniff of goal thanks to Smalling’s imposing presence and he has explained how he was able to play so well.
“I knew I was going to be playing earlier in the week so I had a lot of time to prepare,” he said. “People have been telling me just what a massive game this is. Once I got my first touch it was a case of enjoying it and playing like any other game. It was a great occasion and I really enjoyed myself. To win it and play my part is a real joy.”
Man Utd News 24/7
well impressed with that lad, got the makings of a top defender. dont think we have to worry about Rio’s successor any more..
He seems really mature for his agel. I won’t quite hail him as the next successor to the title of best defender, but his potential is unbelievable.
I couldn’t believed we paid 10 mill for smalling, understandably considering his novice background. I was pretty pissed off tbh. But that 10 mill is not looking an absolute bargain now.Another gem unearthed by fergie. We only need bebe to step up, and then how good will the summer signings look now?!
2nd.gud work smalling. Keep it up.
We’ve got Rio’s successor right there. Great performance from the lad. Well done Chris.
Top game, him and Nani were the business yesterday.
Never mind Smalling, Evans was shit last night and should be sold. Oh wait…
If either one of Rio and Vidic get injured then Smalling is the next choice no question about it. The reason he’s playing so well IMO is because he looks like he’s enjoying himself. Comparisons will be made between him and Evans, but at the moment Evans looks like he’s playing with the whole weight of the world on his shoulders. Whereas before Evans looked like he was enjoying himself. What is it with these Irish players eh? If Smalling can and I believe he will continue to enjoy himself on the pitch he will continue to progress. To think of the fools who ridiculed him without seeing him pull on the red shirt, especially with Fergies practically flawless record in signing defenders. They need to be slapped a couple of times.
utds scouting staff has to be the best ever find gems all over the world
great to see someone fairly new and still quite young make such an impression on this level of a game, i hope to see him in many future derbys and i hope he dosnt pull an evans, look all amazing at the beginning, and then turning into a steamy pile of shit the season later
Missing: Carlos Tevez. Last seen: Chris Smallings back pocket!!
2-3 seasons and he will be a top CB.
Legend.
In Maidstone
Jonny Evans was hailed as Rio’s natural replacement, a few years ago. The lad was part of the team, that went 14 games without conceding a goal, in the 08/09 season. Smalling was very good yesterday, but he has still a lot to learn. It seems the player Fergie was talking in his programme notes, is Ashley young. We bid 15 million for him, that was knocked back and we’re going back in for him, this summer. Don’t get this one tbh. With Nani and Valencia on the wings, where does Young fit in?
smalling was xtremely fabulous. I liked his game.
I really hope he does well. Not only has he got immense potential, but he comes across as a really decent person.
@willie dont understand the the ”young rumours” either.nani, valencia, park, giggs.what more could you ask for.
Didn’t he almost quit football?
Smallings composure was very encouraging yesterday. Sidestepping tackles, clearing and distribution all very good. Tevez was kept very quiet. Nice work.
@willie he fancies playing down the middle just behind the lead striker but then its berba and rooney,so yeah seems like a odd signing
For me this boy was MAN OF THE MATCH !!
@willierednut – Ashley Young really? Whats the source on that? I’m sounding like a broken record but at a time when we need to beef up the centre midfield we’re going in for a winger? I like Young he is a good player but if he’s coming in certain players in the same position must be moving out.
I don’t get the Ashley Young thing at all. That one really has me stumped. I would say the one area where we don’t need any new players is in the strike-force. And the second area is on the wing. So that one has me flummoxed.
As for smalling, he was terrific yesterday. Some of you have pointed out that a while ago, it was Evans who looked confident and full of class, now it’s Smalling. But if a player shows he has the ability, as both these lads have, then the rest is down to attitude, experience, motivation, focus and all the other things that add up to the on-field performance. What I’m trying to say is that a lot of people have climbed on Evans back recently. He’s rubbish, useless, a waste of space, whatever. Yet I believe many of us would agree that he has shown he’s got the ability, it’s all the other stuff that’s letting him down. The point being, that other stuff is fixable. No-one can add talent where none exists, but experience, and getting a player’s head sorted, those things can be done.
You watch, sooner or later Smalling will have a run of poor games … perhaps he’ll come up against a top striker who will get the better of him (happens to the best of defenders) or get an unlucky bounce or get his wires crossed with Vidic or VDS … and then everyone will start getting on his back too.
NRD — the Telegraph is carrying it today. Not sure where they got it from.
Good lad, keep it up and you’ll soar to greater heights.
@ Willie – I think with Young you get a few options where you can play him and also if you want to change tactics you can move him around without to much issue to the team. I’m a big fan of Young (except the snood), good replacement for Giggs as for me Nani is far better on the right than the left, good set piece taker which is something we seem to be lacking at the mo, ie. corners!! So I’d be pleased to get him and another CM and a top class GK and we would kick on from there I think.
Smalling is obviously taking what he learns from Vida and Rio and really putting it to good use. Looks like he is going to be another awesome CB!!
I really dont get the young rumours at all. If we want a winger, sanchez is the best option. He can play as a winger or striker not to mention he is lighting up serie A at the moment
http://news.google.co.uk/news/url?sa=t&ct2=uk%2F0_0_s_1_0_t&ct3=MAA4AEgBUABgAWoCdWs&usg=AFQjCNFXk1tORamGfDq2p5GAMRabQOanGw&cid=8797659574059&ei=WANYTeLiKMS9-gbUmPW5AQ&rt=STORY&vm=STANDARD&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.telegraph.co.uk%2Fsport%2Ffootball%2Fteams%2Fmanchester-united%2F8321176%2FManchester-United-plan-summer-move-for-Aston-Villa-forward-Ashley-Young.html
Here’s the link lads.
@ devilnani – with Young you already have the premier league experience mate, Sanchez is looking good but there is nothing to say he would make it over here (as with Veron), he is a top class talent tho!!
Thanks StatesideAussie. I read the programme notes off my mate yesterday and got a little excited about the pursuit of the player that was going to be followed up in the summer. Fergie mentioned it in a press conference in January before declaring he wouldn’t be signing players. To think that the player may be Ashley young is a little bit anti-climatic. There may be some truth in that.
@ NRD – I remember thinking signing Dwight Yorke was a bit anti-climatic and look what he went on to do mate!! sometimes the players that dont get you that excited are the ones who really prove to be the business IMO of course.
Lads, could someone give me anything on how Ravel Morrison has been doing lately? I read a few reports which indicated that his attitude has improved but the club are still worried about the kind of pals he has off the pitch.If he is as good as people make him out to be, when can we realistically see him in action for the first team.He’s 18 now and should be ready to take the next step up.Also waiting to see how Pogba is shaping up.Seemed like quite a talent and does score a terrific goal every now and then.Realistically speaking, could the local Manchester lads please fill me up on these yougsters of ours?
Gee – I wish I felt that same as you, but I don’t mate lol. Sanchez is a better version of Ashley Young IMO, but he hasn’t got the experience of playing in England. Who knows, maybe the Qatar group will buy United and we’ll sign Young and Sanchez lol.
@ Gee – Thing about Yorke was that we needed a striker at that time. At the moment we don’t seem to be strengthening the one area of the team that has been the weakest IMO. If Young does arrive at OT it will be exciting he’s a good player but like I said before I wish the Telegraph had picked out a centre midfielder for me, I have a nasty feeling that area of the team will not be strengthened. Until it is all other areas of the pitch bar the goalie position are luxuries. Also with this 25 man squad rule who will be left out we may have too many players.
This whole Sanchez may not work in England, I don’t buy into that. There’s a certain Portuguese midfielder who signed for a relegation battling/mid table side who seems to be doing alright at the moment. Risks have to be taken at times but I’d rather they be in the middle of the park.
@ Willie – Now that would be the perfect solution mate lol!! I like Sanchez as well but I’m not totally convinced just yet that he is ready for Utd. I just have this feeling that if we got Young he would really do the business for us, but we will probably sign someone completely different to both lads and SAF will show us why he’s the boss mate lol!!
@ NRD – Fully agree about the centre mid mate, we really need one good signing if not two!!
I can’t see how the Ashley Young rumours can be true. If Sir Fergie was going to spend money on another winger, surely it would be on a left footed winger.
In my humble opinion Nani has shown so much improvement that he is more than capable of making the left-wing his own. He is morphing into a player that is strong with both feet.
Furthermore and yet again in my humble opinion we only need to sign 2 players, a world class goalkeeper and a midfield general.
Hypothetical question just to liven up Sunday afternoon. How would people feel if come September 1st no centre mid/midfield general/defensive midfielder isn’t signed?
Notorious,
I’ll be crossing my fingers and hoping Hargreaves is fighting fit by then.
I wouldnt be happy, we have looked weak to many times this season in midfield but I think its partly down to Fletch not being the player he was last season IMO and Hargreaves not getting fit. I honestly would like us to sign a creative attack minded CM and a defensive general CM.
NRD – Gob smacked! United get that area sorted, there won’t be many teams, that will live with us.
@Notorious
Disappointed but not surprised. Now that van Bommel has moved to Milan, I can’t think of too many realistic targets apart from the usual suspects- m’Vila and the two Diarras.
If it is Ashley Young, he will know he has to earn the fans respect which is exactly where we were when Andy Cole and Hernandez now. Both National team stars coming in to play behind established forwards and needing to earn a place. But even if it isn’t Ashley, this is how all new signings come in. Look at how badly it can turn out, eg Berbatov, maybe never turning around. Players have to earn their place and keep fighting to keep it.
If Ashley comes in, I see it as the end for Michael Owen, which is sad because the lad has really impressed since coming back from injury.
As for Ashley, he can start with dropping the snood. Looks a complete pansy.
It amazes me that none of the journos ask him about that area of the pitch. They ask him plenty of stupid questions but never that one.
@ willierednut -Totally agree, if that happens or if Hargreaves was fit we would be unstoppable. Speaking of Hargreaves surely he must be training now, that hamstring injury was 3 months ago.
NRD – I heard he was back training mate. I know some fans still hold out hope he’ll make a return, but I can’t just see It. He might get offered a pay as you play contract, if he can get himself fit. I’d be surprised if we don’t buy CM in the summer. Who that will be? I haven’t got a clue.
Marcos Senna sounds good..
Those Busquets rumours were too good to be true anyways.
Redblood. Morrison came on in a six one beating of a team I forget. He was different class. Stood out like a sore thumb. Was two nil when he came on and had a hand in the next four scoring one. I cannot talk this lad up enough. One of the best young talents I have seen. Sorts his head out bulks up a bit and this lad could well be in the first team$ squad in a year or two. He is THAT good. Such natural talent and beats men for fun. Runs the midfield. Regarding the young rumours I sincerely hope they ate false. He has one good game in four. Erratic balls in. Lightweight and always on his arse. Dives a lot. No I don’t like him. Not united quality. He isn’t that young anymore either. Twenty four or five is he ? Villa fans are always moaning about him. We have nani valencia giggs still a year park. Cleverley can play out wide as can danny as recently demonstrated. Was reading in red issue that rodwell to united is very likely. Ity said the rentboys were willing to offer twenty million but rodwell said he wants a move here. Said fergie also likes his attitude and the fact he is a teetotaller.
Little Wesley will do just fine
Marcos Senna turns 35 this summer, so I really can’t see us bidding for him. Toulalan perhaps?
Good to see fletcher back to near his best yesterday. I knew he would turn up for that game. Second half he was top drawer. The senna ship sailed three years ago or more.
King Eric
How the mighty have fallen hey mate? Andy Townsend finally admitting (With a gulp in his throat) that United are now favorites for the title…… He could not help himself from saying that with a very sad look on his face though…….
Still a cunt
King Eric – Well, the papers are convinced It’s Young. Like you, I hope It’s not him. Fergies comments were interesting. We can’t sit in our Ivory tower? Who was directed that, I wonder? He’s talked more openly, this last few months, about signings.
BREAKING NEWS: The player Sir Alex is talking about buying in the summer is none other than Lucas Leiva. Fergie believes that winning the title with him in the team would be deemed a bigger accomplishment than winning the treble and believes it would be the perfect way to finish his managerial career.
remember, you heard it here first
@King Eric :Thanks mate!It seems there was an article in the Guardian about the top level club officials having a meeting to determine whether Ravel Morrison has a future at Old Trafford because of off-field issues.Since he has been playing well recently I hope all that crap is sorted out now.He seems a one off. Fergie will knock some sense into him and we’ll see him blossom.
@redddevil
Haha. Wouldn’t it be a bigger accomplishment if we won it with Heskey in the team?
Personally I like Fergie talking about signings in public. Game has changed with players egos bigger than ever before so that may have something to do with it. Fergie talking about signings in an encrypted manner may encourage some players to join. Also as fans we now know which direction the transfers are headed so some fans can lower their expectations such as post Ronaldo.
Don’t rule out Joey Barton. Keano, with a tash.
@dela
you’re absolutely right haha
or how about richard dunne, with an admirable career record of about 10 own goals i think
great game, but let’s remember that he is still young and going to make mistakes along the way.
same thing that happened with jonny evans could very well happen to him. let’s hope we have our center-back pairing for the next 10 years with them.
So proud of the kid. And I am willing to apologise for any sceptisism when we bought him and he played bad at Fulham. Truth be told, he hasn’t played bad at all since he’s been here. I hope he carries this form on into the next season(s). THat will be his real test.
And BumbleBee said Kompany was more impressive. FFS.
Cedars. Hello mate hope things are well. The big nosed cunt knew all along united were the team to beat. Willie ha quality. Keano with a tash. I really rate joey. Great passer of the ball. Good at set pieces. Scores goals. But abovbe all else puts his fucking foot in. Not as daft a suggestion as first appears. What did fergie say about ivory tower please willie. Cannot get on that link
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/879888/sir-alex-ferguson-to-spend-after-missing-out-on-january-target
Here’s the link, to Fergie’s comments.
Fucking hell, Willie rednuts ,…….. are you Barton’s agent trying to broker a deal…
Cheers willie. Think he is saying we can’t rest on our laurels and have to face the competition and bring in a new player or two to keep it up. Like him I am happy with the squad till summer then see what happens. It will certainly be interesting.
Can SAF sign Barton…..of course ….we need some shithouse cleaners at OT
Personally I think there maybe a few leaving OT in the summer…and I don’t mean Wazza !!
for me Smalling’s been ahead in the pecking order for a while now. very professional player and he’s only young. Hopefully this gives Evans encouragement to get his head down and improve his game this seaso, its supposed to be him and Smalling as understudies to Rio and Vidic – a return to last season would be good enough for now Mate! But Smalling showed his class against City, big game and he met the challenge. Agreed for man of the match as well – notwithstanding Rooney’s flash of brilliance – but Smalling was class THROUGHOUT… keep it up Mate and our Back Four is Yours.
What’s the deal with Barton? We never even use him when we do the “Sell him, buy him” joke. He is that much out of the question, lol.
how old id Barton?
we already know rio’s successor and i know Evans will regain his form soon and that will be our future centre back pairing. the future’s looking bright people. all we need is a Solid Central midfielder.
sell ando…
buy barton..
Andy Townsend is a very clever and insighful football journalits who know a lot about the game….
YEAH….AND I’M A RICHARD GERE LOOKALIKE WITH A 12″ COCK…..
TonyBee
Cracked me up mate! hahaha
Barton is 29 btw
Only thing I’d buy from Barton is his moustache
TonyBee – Yes mate, I’m his agent lol.
I wont argue with your MOM award to Smalling STR except to say the giving it to him is but a cig paper ahead of some other great performances, Nani in particular who constantly carried the threat towards them and to be fair Rooney as well, to those amongst the press and bitters who say he was average are forgetting he was upfront alone against a top CB who is 6′ 4″ and he never shirked the fight.
Newly weds head up to the snowy mountains for their honey moon…. Next morning…
Man : What do you like for breakfast babe?
Woman : Make love to me They make love………. a couple of hours later
Man : Anything for brunch babe?
Woman : Make love to me They make love………. almost lunch time now
Man : Shall I get us some lunch, I am starving
Woman : Just love love to me, thats my lunch They make love.. Man now almost collapsing.2 hrs later
Man : Surely a snack babe, I am hungry
Woman : Your love will satisfy me, I do not need food… they make love
A few hours pass by, the man totally exhausted and standing naked near the radiator looking out the window….
Woman : What are you doing honey?
Man : Heating up dinner love.
Lol @ Barton’s Tache, he looks like a right Paedo with it.
True, he may be a Grade A cunt, born of a Cuntish Scum-Ridden family of Tossers and Filth… and at 25 he may have Shattered a lone 16 year old boys face with his Cuntish mates… and not forgetting his reason for leaving City, he was too Pussy to fight his team mate like a man, so like a Cunt he waited til he turned around and walked off before nearly blinded him…..
but yeah, apart from that, and jumping red lights/nearly killing a pedestrian and driving off, yeah, hats off to the fella, AFTER being a Cunt all his life he’s finally got his head down and played some decent football for Brum. Give him a fucking Nobel Peace Prize.
What a Cunt, fairly talented, but a Cunt nontheless. He makes Terry look like a decent Englishman.
Only joking about looking like Richard Gere…… as for the other bit……..
Barton seems like a real United player then, lol.
Apart from all that, he’s a decent guy.
Paul Parker ……not you favourite person then…………
@TonyBee
It’s not size, but quality that counts. Just look at Scholesy.
if we are doing jokes………
After 18 years of marriage finally shagged the Missus up the arse……
hope they dont pick it up on the autopsy
TonyBee
Do not worry about the ‘other bit’ mate. At RoM we tend to divide numerical values by 6 to make them more realistic….
or …..
Walkers crisps have a new Spunk flavoured crisps……
going to be marketed at women as Diet crisps ….
cos 99% will be spat out…!!
@ Paul Parker 19.16- Cracking post. The whole reason why I’ve never mentioned Barton as a solution to our midfield problem.
>——————————————————————————————————————-<
bin telling her that is 10'' for years…..!!
Paul Parker — Tell us how you really feel. Don’t hold back this time
Is anyone else hoping to god we don’t sign Ashley Young. He is nowhere near good enough. He could do a job for Pool or Everton, but he I don’t even think he is at Spurs’ level, much less manchester f’ing united. Sorry for the rant, but I hate transfer rumors that make me nervous. I much prefer rumors that make me semi sexually excited.
Joeybinladen?
@ CedarsDevil: RU writing a porn flick?
@TonyBee: RU sure hes 12 inches? did u use a ruler or tape?
@King Eric: Bro ,wonderful to see Ravel back in the reserves action,I hope he on the right path now.
I hope he is Giggs replacement .
I was shocked when silva almost scored so early on,how easily they cut in like that.Then they slowed down ,we started to push. did not like toure getting away so easy,the number of times our players went down and losing the ball to this giant.
Then our goal,i was so happy,orgasm.
So dzeko has scored against us like torres used to but not on the winning side. So we have our work cut out for us,like every dude we come up against that has an edge over us,we find a way to neutralize that person.
Was it smalling that cud not hold him off,remember Fletcher /Vidic looking at the player who was on the ground.
Rooneys goal was a magical moment,so grateful for it.
Manchester United will continue a good rebuilding program after this to the new season.
city will spend another 100 million or more for next season.
Our midfeild yesterday ,dunno what to say anymore.Our players need to regain their form and exert some command in the centre.
We have one week to rest and watch Valencia return to action during the week and hopefully Rio and Hargo as well. Then we have a challenging run of games.Glad our game away to chelsea has been pushed foward. Gives us time to prepare for the liverpool game away.
So im sure u guys are preparing for heinze over 2 legs.
More like Joeycorleone
All you guys that want Fergie to jump into the transfer market and spend 50m take note.
Smalling cost us 10m. That’s how Fergie spells value in this market.
“What do I find at the pork store? A bunch of guys, beating meat”
Now i need some help tracking a city fan who used dark blue spray paint and did a picture of a face on my house wall saturday night or sunday morning.
didnt know they were any city fans around here so must be some escapee from uk.
my neighbours house got dark blue strips ,hes angry. If we find the culprit goin to spray his head face with the can.
Now got to google and find the best way to remove graffiti.fucking idiot.
Willie
Ditch the Sopranos mate and watch Sex and the City
Joey Baton, aka Joey Bashem, aka Joey DeMaggot, aka Job Bottom Feeder is a twat
Dave
No need to google it mate…. just paint over it. There is no other way!
CedarsDevil: google says oven cleaner or liquid detergent soap or if i can find graffiti remover in the hardware shop
Heinze beans?
TonyBee’s Gere lever has streched in search of sunlight!
Lads just having a laugh at an ‘unusually Cuntish’ player’s expense. When you list the shit he’s done or the good folk he’s related to you cannot help but ‘marvel’. His Cuntacity knows no bounds. A true Cunt amongst Cunts and a testiment to all Cuntingdom. And he does make Stevie Me and CLLC look like bonifide English role models, that part wasn’t a joke. But I said the other day I actually rate him as a player, he gets stuck in, but never for United, Jesus! What a filthy stain to have on our History.
As for Ashley Young I’ll believe it when I see it, but unless Alec is hedging his bets with an inferior alternative to Valencia I can’t see it happening. He said we needed to spend big to replace Giggs and Scholes, and we’ve already got RedNev’s replacement. I dont think Young plays on the Left, so Bale might be the player to replace Giggs for a tidy figure, and Spurs were the Club playing hard to get. Who knows? Im more interested in seeing how Nani re-adapts on the Left when Tony returns, or whether Nani stays right and Valencia sits in the middle, never seen him play there for United but apparently he’s no stranger to CM. Eitherway summer windows gonna be interesting for us this year.
I think i did the Rooney celebration a 100 times my muscles are sore,lol.
going to sleep now ,dreaming of Genie no Rooney no …..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Joeythedon?
Joey Di Cunta
Sounds Italian.
‘You fuck with me, I fuck your family’
Joey (Corleone)
Talksport is priceless tonight lads. Danter and martin clutching at straws and saying it was a fluke and stan bird beater dogger is correct that it came off his shin. So why the fuck did it travel at 80 mph like an exocet missile straight as an arrow? Fucking cunts. Saying rivaldos against valemcia in a fucking la liga was proper meant as he chested it down first and that no other player could do that. Err how’s about berbatov against the dippers you abu cunts. Sytam EVEN texted the show to say if ya wanna see real technique then youtube his for bradford against leeds. Err no ta stan. Only interested in potential title winning derby goals not two bit league two shite. Can someone put this self opinionated self loving egotistical fat bloated cunt to sleep? I hope he fucking dies the hideous scum bastard.
Quite surprised to hear ninety two percent of talkshite listeners voted that summerbee came across as a bitter fool.
lol sorry meant Julio Di Cunta, may as well spell it correct aye
Dont you love the way the Media are JUST waking up to a certain United player named Nani?
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/feb/13/nani-manchester-united-david-pleat
You’d think we just siged him. Since when did consistency become necessary for plaudits? Nani already did everything Bale has this season. the ABU lot do make me laugh.
“He’s a goddam hot house flower, that’s his problem”
King Eric – Stan the Dog makes my fucking blood boil, he reckons it was a Fluke? Is that why Rooney was watching the Ball upside down with his head turn round as it hit the back net. Bitter Cunts.
Not more Sopranos please! Sell them all and sign Assange, he will ‘leak you out’ lol
*He was some player tho lol.
Collymore’s career was a fluke.
Shut up Cedars, spitting feathers as usual lol.
Not just me mate!
his ABU Media Career IS a fluke lol
You’ve got the bird.
And what can we say about City after Saturday’s prerformance?
They remind me of an old tart who doesn’t know when she’s going to get another screw.
The harder City try the more desperate they look. The ’35 years without a trophy’ is obviously getting to them. But no doubt they’ll find solace in the cheque book in the summer. When will they realise that that’s not the answer.
A farm of birds here, I am so lucky
What can we say about city? Not much really, for what they’ve spent.
scott u are acting like a little child on Twitter!!! Grow up mate!! Who cares if the bitter is from manchester or not…it doesnt make a difference…U are the man behind this great blog and should set an example and not become like one of them…u better than that!!
What’s happening on twatter?
What can we say about Chelsea? Sturridge does it again 3 goals in three games as soon as he’s shot of the Bridge. Talk about lack of Youth Development, thats a damning indictment of the Pensioners approach to developing talent – ie they aint gotta fucking clue.
Hey guys – World Exclusive!!!! see below!
Here is a transcript of a telephone call made from Sky Sports Production to Mike Sumerbee following yesterday’s Manchester Derby.
Unfortunately I only heard one side of the conversation
“hello, Mr Sumerbee, this is ( ~name removed~), head of Sky Sports production, I need to speak with you regarding yesterdays programme covering the Manchester Derby. We have had a number of……..”
“er…yes, yes, I am aware of the final score as indeed were a record number of viewers, but I need to discuss with you a very high number of……..”
“the erm….the…the events of the match don’t really concern me Mr Sumerbee, but what is of concern is the…..”
“ok, MIKE,…..what does concern me, Mike, is the number of people who phoned us to……”
“Mike, Mike, please listen, please let me discuss with you your performance on the programme and how your views appear to have annoyed a very large percentage of our viewing audience and the fact that you…….”
“Mike, whether Manchester City or Manchester United is the best team in the City is not my concern nor the reason for the need for me to discuss with you your….”
“I have no idea…….tell me……”
“OK, so moving on, safe in the knowledge that Manchester City didn’t deserve to lose, can we…….”
“MIKE!!!!! MIKE!!!!! Just please listen to me, it is very much this style and delivery of a bitter rant which is the reason I am calling you to explain that I feel your services to Sky Sports are no longer….”
“Oh for Christ’s sake!……ok, if I let you say your peace, will you please then let me finish my discussion with you?”
“I don’t know……tell me…..”
“60 percent sounds a little farfetched, but does it……”
“statistics are statistics Mike, why would we lie?”
“We are NOT pro United, we just report the facts and measurements are taken and we present them to…..”
“I don’t know! Two people with stop watches I presume. But why…..”
“Oh God! I don’t know who the hell they support, all they have to do is stop and start a bloody watch and…..”
“Corruption is quite a strong accusation to throw in our direction Mike, Look….I realise you are an ex-City player and still have a strong passion for them but the purpose of your placement on the show was to offer a balanced view with ever such a slight hint of favour for the team you still so obviously support, but to go on a rant about…….”
“yes, yes, I know Dwight once played for United, but……”
“yes, yes, I realise that, but he didn’t say it with the bitter flow of tears streaming down his face, now please can we discuss the…..”
“But MIKE! You literally made up your own stats massively in City’s favour and then once we put the official stats up you then claimed that statistics mean nothing, this is not how we wish to portray…..”
“So then, why make a ludicrous claim that the power shift is happening when clearly United are in pole position for their nineteenth…….”
“what do you mean…Only a spectacular goal?”
“Are you seriously saying that because the game was won with probably the goal of the season that therefore the result wasn’t just?”
“Mike, Mike, calm down man, please just speak calmly and slowly, this is the very …..”
“But Mike, that doesn’t constitute a balanced view with just a hint of……”
“What the hell has Jamie Redknapp got to do with it?”
“IT WASNT HIS FUCKING STOPWATCH………..ahem,…….Mike, I am very sorry, I lost it there for a moment…….erm, no, the stats are done by others in the production team, now can I…..”
“HE PLAYED FOR FUCKING LIVERPOOL, WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE ……..”
“I’m not shouting to cover up my guilt, what have I to be guilty of?”
“Oh, sweet mother of Jesus! I don’t know, they will either be Timex or Seiko or something I really don’t know and am beyond caring, what I need to advise you of is…..”
“I don’t know,……tell me….”
“35 years? Really? Why does this have any……”
“er, to be honest, NO! I don’t understand how it affects you this badly, but…..”
“Surely that is the fault of Mancini making such a claim about ripping it down rather than the producers of….”
“then blame your players not Sky pissing Sports!”
“No idea…but I presume you are about to tell me?”
“Define Massive?”
“then I apologise for sounding petty, but why is your ground never full?”
“yes, you already told me, 35 years!”
“on the assumption they have similar view points to you, yes I can see…..”
“Christ, you are turning me into you here……you lost to the better team who created most chances and most importantly scored more than you”
“it was the goal of the bloody season for Christ’s sake!”
“IT WASNT SIXTY PER-FUCKING-CENT!!!!!”
“THE FUCKING STOP WATCHES GIVE US THE INFO…..”
“Right, right, Mike……ok, ok, the two stop watches are controlled by Eric Cantona and Matt Fucking Busby…..I couldn’t care less other than to tell you your services will no longer be required on future Sky production, I’m sorry!”
“No Mike, ANY sky production”
“No not just Derby games, as I said I am very…..”
“Yeah, you go to ESPN and complain about how much bigger than Notts Fucking County your shower of shite are in that massive cup replay of yours……Happy 35th, Bitter Cunt!”
Twitter to me is like learning Chinese in an hour. Never gonna happen…… So far behind I feel an middle aged man so out of touch….. (very hard when I am actually 18!!!)
Ah no! Not fucking max again, moan, moan, moan , and usually rude, especially to StR.
Cedars – Same here mate. Better not complain too much though, or Costas will shout at me lol.
Red Simmo absolutely brilliant! Fantastic and hysterical!
Will keep it quiet Willie, just between the 2 of us buddy
lol @ red simmo, he looked a dejected and bitter old man.
Dont forget Cedars, that if we sever a limb we can count the rings.
Unless it’s18 titles to which you refer.
I read The Twat and the Twitterer as a young lad, not a twit since.
I’d like to see that party.
Me too, count me in…………
smartalex, with you all the way
scott u are acting like a little child on Twitter!!! Grow up mate!! Who cares if the bitter is from manchester or not…it doesnt make a difference…U are the man behind this great blog and should set an example and not become like one of them…u better than that!!
double speak.
No smalling videos yet.. his masterclass needs to be shown to the world!
Guys, i actually think ashley young would be a good signing for united. People always look to him as a forward but i can see him playing as a ACM behind the supporting striker. When united plays a 4-4-2 he can be utilise on the wings. When we we play 4-3-3 or 4-5-1 or 4-2-3-1 is when i can really see young do well. In all cases, when saf deploy this formation either one of berba or rooney need to be sacrifice to be the sole striker. I can see him being the creative spark in the middle of the park as in many times man u got no creative spark when we played with one striker. So i say yes to young! Cheers mates!
As SAF gets yet another signing right on the nail’s head again. And I bet Fulham was thinking they got a good deal just 9 months ago.
Amidst all the deserved hyperbole over Rooney’s goal, let us not forget to spare a thought for NANI who was (with Smalling & Vidic) utterly brilliant!
He is a real Rio”s successor .I will called him my native Hausa language as MAGAJIN RIO
@RedSimmo – That transcript is possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in my life! I actually burst out lauging in a quiet office in work. Hat off to ya pal….. The Bitter Blue Nose prick, i’d honestly pay good money to watch him on TV again!
What a bargain he is turning out to be…. Yesterday was a big test for him.. so far he’s had games against not great teams (Rangers, Scunthorpe, Birmingham, Blackpool)… but yesterday he was flawless…that twat Tevez did nothing thanks to Smalling…..
No need to spend millions upon millions on players when you can pay 17 million for two top top talents
Hopefully Evans will get his 08-10 (first half of 2010) form back… He played with Wes Brown last season at the centre against Chelsea and we would have got a clean sheet too if it wasn’t for some ridiculous refereeing.
Max…what the fuck you on about…. you fucking dickhead,,,,, I’ll tell him Scott
TonyBee
FEBRUARY 13, 2011 AT 20:04
smartalex says what?
@TonyBee go f yourself u mug!!!
Ah no! Not fucking max again, moan, moan, moan , and usually rude.