Subject to a medical, Carlos Tevez is a Manchester City player, where he will keep the 32 shirt. It goes without saying we’ll miss the five Premiership goals he contributed last season.
“Carlos is an international player of the highest class who possesses all the attributes that will help drive this club forward,” said Hughes. “He is not only outstanding technically but he is a reliable goal scorer and someone who will contribute fully to the team ethic. He gives us another exciting, attacking dimension. However, it is shame he has behaved so shamefully since leaving the champions. Didn’t he say something about scoring against United then shouting in Sir Alex Ferguson’s face? What a cunt. He’ll fit right in here though.”
We’ll see what Sparky thinks of Carlitos’ “team ethic” is like when he isn’t starting for a club that aren’t in any European competition next season. They’ve got a player who is happy to swap the medals of the champions for the money of a team that scraped 10th last season and think he will contribute to their “team ethic”. Good one Sparky.
And City’s next hero? A guy who was grabbing our badge a few months ago and who says he loves United fans. Hilarious.
 I will continue to delete all the comments from the wonderful City fans who keep talking about Munich.[/edit]
Made in Manchester is available for just £5. It includes 30 articles from the country's best football writers about graduates from the Manchester United academy. Everyone who buys a copy enters a competition to win the new home shirt. All profit goes to Trafford Macmillan so please support this fantastic cause.