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It’s been a pretty solid start to the 2015/16 Premier League season for Louis Van Gaal’s boys. Fifth place, with the defence in particular brushing up well (if you discount the Gomis/Ayew combo last weekend); but there has been some criticism in terms of goals scored.

Wayne Rooney looks a little lost, Memphis Depay looks a little sluggish, and Juan Mata has been scampering tirelessly with little luck. We’re sure the goals will come, but it does beg the question of how well Manchester United would scrub up in a 5-a-side game, where goals flow faster than the booze before LVG’s end of season speech.

Check out our 5-a-side picks for the current Man Utd side. How well do you reckon they’d do?

Goalie: David De Gea

While we can’t be sure if he’d even want to right now, we’ve got to pop the super Spaniard between the sticks. Lithe and springy, De Gea would be a brilliant shot-stopper in the smaller goals. With his solid foundations, like the United team proper have found over the past few years, launching assaults down the other end of the pitch would be a doddle.

Defence: Matteo Darmian

In the short time the Italian has been at Old Trafford, Darmian has already shown he’s quite a player. Rampaging up and down the right flank, defending stoutly in the face of counter attacks; of all the current United defenders (bar possibly Rojo), we’d have the former Torino man at the back. Chris Smalling would be spinning like a top!

Midfield: Antonio Valencia

While his game time has been limited this season, there can be no doubt the Ecuadorian would be fine asset on the smaller pitch. Built, but possessing of real pace and dynamism – and crucially selfless – he’d be a great addition at both ends of the pitch.

Midfield: Memphis Depay

Despite a slow start to life in Manchester, we bet Memphis would be all rock and roll on a 5-a-side pitch! Skilful, strong and full of swagger; he’d be all over the opposition from the word go. Memphis loves himself a shot, which exactly what’s needed on the smaller pitch. And he’s a dab hand at free-kicks. A no brainer.

Striker: Wayne Rooney

Captain fantastic has to lead the line, as really, can you think of a player better suited to 5-a-side in world football? Able to realistically play in every position (even in goal), bristling with skill and industry, and aggressive as they come. No-one would be messing with the Manchester United V with Wayne on the prowl!

What do you think? Have we missed anyone out? Would Fellaini work without headers? Could Ashley Young make an impact? We’d love to see your United 5-a-side picks; send them in via the comments! 

Playing football this weekend?

Fancy playing a 5-a-side game with your friends? Goals, the world’s largest and most respected operator of 5-a-side pitches, is the place to be. With over 500 pristine, FA accredited pitches at all-weather centres spread across the UK, Goals is the ultimate destination to scrap for bragging rights under beaming floodlights.

Ranging from between £60-£73 per pitch (just over a tenner each), and with leagues and tournaments to join/create, top notch shower and changing facilities, an exclusive app to keep track of progress, and fully licensed BT Sport lounge bars in every location – you and your mates will be strutting the Ronaldinho on (and off) the pitch in no time!

And if that wasn’t enough, how about receiving new gear and beer on the day, and potentially winning prizes from a treasure trove worth £200,000?

Goals

Goals are gearing up to launch their Kick Off Festival week, and teams booking a pitch on or after the 6th September will be given a guaranteed scratch-card on their arrival, with prizes ranging from new shin pads and goalie gloves, to pitchers of beer for celebrations (or wound licking) after the game!

There’s also an automatic entry for those teams into the main prize pot, with an Xbox One, PS4, Go Pro and iWatch just some of the amazing kit up for grabs!

Head over to the Goals website for a quick and easy register, with 10% off all pitches booked online!