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The Guardian Writers Ruin My Fun

Year after year, The Guardian writers predict any team but Manchester United will win the league, which means every year I get to write an article ripping them apart. It was most enjoyable when they believed that Luiz Scolari’s Chelsea would pip us to the title, only for him to get sacked in February when four points behind United despite playing two games more, and United going on to win the league.

2011 Guardian prediction: 1 Chelsea 2 City 3 United 4 Arsenal. Reality: 1 United 2 Chelsea 3 City 4 Arsenal
2010 Guardian prediction: 1 Liverpool 2 Chelsea 3 United 4 Arsenal. Reality: 1 Chelsea 2 United 3 Arsenal 4 Spurs
2009 Guardian prediction: 1 Chelsea 2 United 3 Liverpool 4 Arsenal. Reality: 1 United 2 Liverpool 3 Chelsea 4 Arsenal
2008 Guardian prediction: 1 Chelsea 2 United 3 Liverpool 4 Arsenal. Reality: 1 United 2 Chelsea 3 Arsenal 4 Liverpool

However, it is with great sadness that I report The Guardian writers have this year predicted we will win the title. After winning the title three times in the past four seasons and them having us down as finishing second and third every year, they have finally given up and seen sense. We’re not going away.

The superstitious amongst you may see this a kiss of death but I’d rather see this as recognition of the fact Sir Alex Ferguson has built a stronger team than anyone else. If we sign the world class midfielder that would certainly seal the deal but even without him, if you compare our current squad to everyone else’s, we’re better. We won the title by 9 points last season and have strengthened since then.

Didn’t take them long to clock on eh?

2012 Guardian prediction: 1 United 2 City 3 Chelsea 4 Liverpool


About Scott

Scott is the editor of Red Matters - 50 Years of Supporting Manchester United and an author of Play Like Fergie's Boys and Not Nineteen Forever. He writes for ESPN, The Metro and Bleacher Report. Follow @R_o_M on Twitter.

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493 Comments

  1. willierednut says:

    No one does it better than us. Pussies, down south!

  2. Dre.FU= Forever United says:

    @King Eric & willierednut

    A police officer shot one of them Tottenham bad boys in the head and he died, so that’s why their’s riots if you didn’t know, cars being lit on fire, looting, shops being lit on fire, people we’re throwing petrol bombs at police cars and that.

  3. Costas says:

    *4 new players*

  4. The Fly says:

    A new Man City Oxo cube is about to be introduced. It’ll be called “laughing stock”.

  5. willierednut says:

    Massive dictionary?

  6. willierednut says:

    Dre – Some crazy shit.

  7. slim says:

    fucking hell whats going on, people carrying guns and getting shot. Fuck me

  8. FletchTHEMAN says:

    Costas. Ha ha ha, to right you are mate.

    There seems to be to difficult sets of rules.
    First is the difficult enough rules of english usage,
    Then you have the stunning ways the FA can twist them which would loose the most sophisticated Oxford Don!

  9. FletchTHEMAN says:

    *two difficult sets*

  10. Dre.FU= Forever United says:

    willierednut

    I hear that, i’m watching it on sky news now, looks like no problems nowadays cant be solved without violence.

  11. smartalex says:

    Phil, Jones, never a doubt, He’s the one that will keep them out.
    Come on, We talking to you, come on.
    Phil, Jones, never a doubt, He’s the one that will keep them out.

  12. wayne says:

    @The Fly if WS signs for utd the last thing i need out of you is i told you so,according to ‘the source’ it should’ve been annonoced i believe july 15th and you said it was a fact.It didn’t happen so clearly you know as much as anyone else,nothing.

  13. willierednut says:

    The Fly has spun into the sneijder’s web.

  14. smartalex says:

    It’s the Fly and the Sneijder, it’s the thrill of ‘He might’
    Rising up to the question of arrival
    And the last known tipster stalks his prey in the night
    And wayne’s watching him fall, as the Fly lost Wes Sneijder.

  15. smartalex says:

    Trouble is, if you talk something up too often, you can become hoarse Fly.

    And a horse fly could take you for a ride. Square pegasus in a round about way.

  16. smartalex says:

    Word association football.

  17. wayne says:

    i’d like to tip my hat to mr willierednut the pun artist & smartalex who makes me re read everything he posts

  18. King Eric says:

    Willie and Dre. Cheers lads. Its the eighties all over again.

  19. smartalex says:

    Cheers wayne! How you doing bud? You’re not driving are you, being the weekend?
    Back to the football tomorrow. Last of the pre-season games.

  20. willierednut says:

    Wayne – Cheers pal.

  21. torontored says:

    So here we fucking go again – Ando’s great/Ando’s immature/TC is great/TC is immature/Sneider is “world class” yet has seen 4 teams in 6 years (makes 250K quid a week) – played 5 great games in that period -dead consistent (not) – (yeah SAF is after this lad for sure) -he’s selling his wife as part of the fucking deal – she does have a better rack than Victoria though) Alex will go for that one!!!

    Ganso next Scholes – he’s fucking 16 (not Scholes that is – Ganso). More really intelligent fucking “Platonic” thinking from the “journo’s” and “ooh this guys had one or two great games per year brigade” and is the next “Best”- maybe 8 years from now but fuck me today!!

    Many on this site underestimates that SAF does have a more bit more knowledge about his team (YES HIS TEAM) than anyone that writes in to this site – more knowledge about succession planning, about player skills/player physcholgy/about player chemistry / about dressing room issues etc in other words if you do not trust SAF then, to me, you are not a United fan – he knew Scholes was going this year five years back and 90% of the planet reckons it is now panic time cos there is no apparent Scholes succesor -fuck , Scholes was great and SAF knew how to play him and when to play him – same with Giggs. – is SAF worried on the future (obviously has to be cos 90% of the planet is telling him who he should buy – but for me, not a fucking chance cos he has planned for this day)- probably would have been nice to see Scholes play 20 games this year , but Scholes will not, cos he has retired – do not need to be Plato or Socrates to understand that SAF knows better than the whole planet what assets he has in his squad ‘ how and where the players can play”- and I would challenge anyone to argue that SAF has not reckoned for this day -he knows how to co-ordinate what he has to do to WIN. All planned well in advance of the “Day of Departure” – otherwise not SAF. (LOOK AT THE TROPHY CABINET)

    I honestly believe he could tell you today who will be in that squad five years from now.

    For fucks sake to say SAF does not have the replacement already in place, for any position, and set to rock and roll is like sayingv SAF runs with the choice of the day to “plug that most important player role” or he uses a gypsy woman and a crystal ball for team selection – so lets just drop in player “X” and he will just waltz into the team rythym. Let’ s give him half a season to “bed in”! Naive – this team is all about teamwork and more teamwork. It is usually pre planned and that there is always someone set to come in (most of the time – admittedly a few dodgy keepers and the occasional DD / Prunier etc but in the main seamless transition) – Jesus Christ, he has known who that player will be and where he will play for the past four seasons before that player steps into that role – never underestimate SAF – he does know his stuff. LOOK AT HIS FUCKING RECORD.

    As for Sneider – how can people say we need this useless fucking tulip twat – (yeah scored a “goal of the century” free kick v Milan – but did you see the shit set up of the wall and did you see where the second rate keeper was -I could have hit it straight and would have scored ). Closest thing to Darren Anderton or Glenn Hoddle I have ever seen – massively overated. Plus definately not a team player and fuck all in the work ethic department. Inter have this boy on the books at 250GBP per week !! They are cash strapped – they are slow, mindless (even with “ooh Wes had one or two great games per year brigade” would not last 8 weeks in the Premier)

    Anyway sort out the blue Bastards tomorrow and start off the season with some silverware

    20/4/12 UNITED – 2012

  22. King Eric says:

    Torontored. Wooaahh. Calm your skin down pal. There are plenty of us on here who javbe complete faith in Fergie and the players. Unfortunately some fucking cunts don’t and clamour for signings like that fucking ponce Pastore and Sanchez. To say sneijder is like Anderton is laughable mate.

  23. King Eric says:

    *have*

  24. slim says:

    WTF is STR up to? why the fuck is Harry Redknapp face plastered at the top of the page. I know he has to get advert placements and all but Harry. lol

  25. Neil says:

    Torontored – “if you do not trust SAF then, to me, you are not a United fan” DITTO!!! Couldn’t have said it better myself!

  26. TonyBee says:

    Willierednuts and Goat were earl;ier discussing……

    Obertan and Ben Arfa on the wings? Not bad for the Toon.

    Ben Arfa whos that, i know of a Jay Arfa, he come along with his five lovely deciples just before Harry Munk arrives to great fanfare. Ben Arfa is that a reach around?

    guys ….think it might be Ben Dover and Phil McCrackin…. :shock:

  27. Costas says:

    @wayne

    Spot on.

  28. Vishal S says:

    After More comments then the number of players we’ve been linked with
    After almost 3 months its Great to wake up knowing its MATCHDAY

    Bring It On:-):-)

  29. TonyBee says:

    AUGUST 6, 2011 AT 23:27
    GoatinaUnitedShirt says:
    TonyBee
    Alright Tony mate. I wasnt ignoring you just had a power out here due to a big thunder storm. It gave me a chance to stand at the front window and enjoy the spectacle with trollies round ankles beating off the the cars whizzing by. Its weather voyeur you know. The new big thing. thunderstorms give me the horn along with, midgets, pizza, pesto, rupert the bear hubcaps and danger mouses letter box.

    Hows you?

    tears coming down here…you is one crazy bastard. hahahaha…. weather perving…… ;lol:

    me? too old… too tired….. bored out me skull…..wedding anniversary today 20 years SO WILL MISS THE LIVE GAME ….
    told her if i had killed her instead of marrying her I would be getting out this year….
    went down like fucking lead balloon….sigh….
    there goes the anniversary lovefest then… sigh ….
    Mrs Palm brace yourself….

  30. captaink9 says:

    Is Obertan staying or not

  31. Devil310 says:

    @toronto – agree with most of what you said, and you made pretty good points about people questioning the manager, but the Sneijder comments destroyed all the coherent and smart things you just said.

    I know this is not the first time I hear you slamming the guy. But Its not that you simply dont rate him at all…you despise him for whatever reason (?) Saying he is overrated, wouldn’t last in the prem and comparing him to Darren Anderton/Glenn Hoddle is borderline moronic.

    Wether we need him or not, thats a different story, but the guy is special and we would be lucky to have him. He has been praised by our very own G.Neville, King Cantona and, the master himself, Scholesy….their opinion most be worth something to any doubter (hater) like yourself.

  32. rucien says:

    “It’s easy to get emotional about this kind of game,” said Sir Alex. “But I don’t think we will be changing our policy. The Community Shield is a stepping-stone to the first game of the season.”

    so SAF going to be indifferent whether we win or lose this game?

  33. CedarsDevil says:

    Costas @ 7:54

    I second that comment

  34. juan says:

    sorry to see him go

  35. King Eric says:

    Rucien. No of course he isn’t. He wants to win EVERY game United play.

    Why the fuck do those mugs at sky make out Obertan has been a complete flop despite only costing three million yet they say fuck all about that diving cunt Zhirkov who cost eighteen million who aside from diving to get a pen at the bridge has done absolutely fuck all. Can’t wait to see their near twenty million man Lukaku get found out as well. The Belgian league and the prem are two very different leauges. Love the way Viyash Boash is trying to be like Fergie by buying young talent. The smug prick will be out the door by jan so will never see these plaayers get a chance. They won’t anyway as it will be the same old same old shite. Terry fat frank drogba and so on. The russian won’t allow for kids to be intergrated as its all about the here and now for the rentboys. Much like City.

  36. Balaji Sivaraman says:

    Good Morning Lads!

    Scott is on vacation somewhere going by his twitter, so whether we get new topic for the curtain-raiser is anyone’s guess.

    Costas, Interesting squad. Given the number of youngsters we have in our squad, I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t fill our regulation 25 at all. Kuszcak is still up for grabs – I will be surprised if he is still a United player on September 1st. The same goes for Diouf but I would very much like him to stay. I feel he maybe sent on loan for one more season. So, that is two slots that have been freed up. And we are looking at only one more over-21 addition and even that is doubtful. I think we will start without the mandatory 25 being filled. It doesn’t make a difference either way, I guess. Our trust in youth has always been well-placed, so no reason to change a working system.

    Devil310, Spot on about Toronto. Just to make it clear: I don’t think anyone who actually wants Sneijder to play for us has ever come out and doubted Sir Alex. The people who have done it are the usual twats and trolls. Most of us who are part of the wee Wes clique do it for the laughs anyway. I am personally a big Sneijder fanboy and would like him to don our shirt. Either way, calling people who want Sneijder as those who think Sir Alex doesn’t know what he is doing is simply BS. Plus, comparing Sneijder to Anderton when The King believes the former to be the next “Him” is pure and simply a pisstake.

  37. Twisted Fatboy says:

    Morning Reds,

    I’d rather have Schweinsteiger than Sneijder, we’d make more off the shirt lettering.

    Plus have we ever had a German? Hargreaves doesn’t count.

  38. Costas says:

    @Cedars

    Morning mate.

    @Balaji

    Morning. I don’t think the 25 slots will be filled either. No way we are going to keep Kus and Gibbo and sign 3 new players. But it’s not a horrible thing really. Chelsea had 19-20 players in their squad last year, but they had nothing in their U21 squad. We have 5 youngsters that will make the senior squad next year: the twins, Danny, Amos and De Gea.

  39. RedManWalking says:

    Watch this video before the game – It will get you all pumped up!! :-D

    http://youtu.be/tsRSt5hI2sQ

  40. willierednut says:

    Of course Anderton is comparable to Sneijder.

    I’m often compared to Brad Pitt.

    In my fucking dreams!

    Could be the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read on here.

    And, there’s been a few corkers down the years.

    I’m sure Kings will laugh his head off at this one lol.

    WRD 19!

  41. smartalex says:

    BradRedPitt is chalk, our willierednut is the cheese!

  42. denton davey says:

    TorontoRed @ 1:59: “Ganso next Scholes – he’s fucking 16 (not Scholes that is – Ganso). ”

    Errr, Ganso is actually 21/22. Neymar is 19. And Santos’ “next one” – called Lucas, I think – is 17/18.

  43. torontored says:

    Ok I had a few when I wrote that last night and it followed a late night Friday. My main point is that SAF plans for the future.

    As for today saw a lot of very good performances and some mediocre performances – Nani/Anderson/Rooney/DW/TC very, very good. We went up a few gears after the half and I have to say that Ferdinand and Vidic (who I would have thought were certainties in their respective positions) will have to now up their games following the performances of Jones and Smalling – Evans played well but almost gave away the game with one poor pass. What impressed me was he did not let the one mistake affect his game going forward, last year he was prone to folding like a cheap suit after such a gaff. TC played way better than Carrick in the middle and DW will be challenging for a spot anywhere up front or in the middle

    Will watch the replay again later but it did seem that we made hardly any direct tackles but simply crowded out the space and the option for them to make the pass. the number of times they dove in and the fact they left the field with 11 players was testament to a lenient ref. Richards/Kompany both could have seen red.

    De Gea is still a question mark – looked nervous on goal #1 and flat footed goal # 2 – but just like Evans made up with a couple of good saves – what is for sure his weak points will be worked on and he will get better.

    Bring on the start of the season

    UNITED 20/4/12 – 2012

    BTW my bias agaisnt Sneider is that I do not think he would help United – he is talented but we definately do not need a player who has to be played to and does not reciprocate in the work department. Today we saw 11 players all running for each other – in that department I see Sneider falling down. That is my bias agaisnt the man – to me he is lazy. he looks good when he is alloed time on the ball – lots of that Italy and many internationals but in the premier league.

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