First it was Rafael Benitez, then it was Arsene Wenger, now it’s Luiz Felipe Scolari.

Referring to an incident involving Boro’s Mohamed Shawkey, Scolari had claimed the defender deserved a red card.

“If that was my player, it’s a red card,” said Scolari. “But not for other players. It’s time to change. I need to help my players more than before, as now I know many more things about things in England. All the clubs who come to Stamford Bridge make 20, 50 or 60 fouls and don’t get cards, red cards. Nothing. They only stop the ball, kill the game.”

Actually, opposing teams get a card, on average, for every 7.46 fouls they commit at Stamford Bridge. The Chelsea side commit 10.92 fouls at home before getting a caution. D’oh.

“We don’t have people to pressure the referees,” added Scolari. “My players try to help referees during a game and many times for us is one thing, for the other clubs another. It’s a big problem for us and it has cost us points. Give me the statistics. Have we had any penalties until now?”

Just the one penalty for Chelsea at home this season.

“And the other teams? 10, 12, 15?”

Again, just the one at home, for United, Liverpool and Arsenal. His ‘facts’ are about as dodgy as Benitez’s.

After Anelka has already claimed it is Sir Alex Ferguson who makes the difference between United and Chelsea, Scolari might have helped his sulky forward’s opinion, suggesting dodgy judgement. Is it Gerrard he fears ahead of this weekend’s clash against the dippers? Torres? No, no, it’s goal machine Dirk Kuyt!

“Gerrard? And what about Torres, Riera and Mascherano? That’s like saying my team is all about Lampard,” said Scolari. “Liverpool have fantastic players, the same as us. But the one player I like best you have not even mentioned! Dirk Kuyt is a player who is fantastic. When he was playing in Holland and I was with Portugal (he looks to the heavens), I said ‘Please, don’t play him’.”

With a total of 32 goals in 115 appearances for Liverpool, he’s not the kind of player who has many other managers praying not to start!

Has Fergie put something in their water or what?