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United Helpline

“An emergency helpline for despondant United fans has been set up, following their defeat at the weekend,” a witty scouse bird said on the news on Radio 1. “So for any fans who are feeling the pain following their game against Liverpool, get in touch on 0800 41 41 41.” Chortle.

There seems to be some confusion though as if anyone needs a hotline, surely it is the scousers. I would suggest the same number be used.

0800 4(points behind) 1 (game in hand) 41 41.”

About Scott

Scott is the editor of Red Matters - 50 Years of Supporting Manchester United and an author of Play Like Fergie's Boys and Not Nineteen Forever. He writes for ESPN, The Metro and Bleacher Report. Follow @R_o_M on Twitter.

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  1. costas says:

    Scott that number is subject to change in May:0800 18 18 18

  2. Giles Oakley says:

    I’m surprised this witty woman didn’t say ‘Man U’.

  3. MhdBzew says:

    Next year nothing will change
    Golden PL logo on our shirt….
    PL flag at OT
    Garry Liniker will start the 1sd episode of his MOTD by saying:
    “we start with the champions Manchester United…..ect”

    scousers will get a new record to break 18>>>19
    and counting….

  4. tony singh says:

    I called it but no answer I am still having problems coming to terms with the weekend result .. anyone know of a good counselling service .. anyone but them!!!!

  5. doncobaino says:

    i dont care what anyone says, the reaction to this result shows that THIS is the biggest game of the season.

  6. TinManUnited says:

    our next game is the biggest game of the season.

  7. costas says:

    By the way,i have never seen so many ABUs come out of their shell in the 15 years that i follow United.All SAF has to do this week is show to the players what has been written about them.Sorry for all of you fellow English United fans but the media is the reason the England team never succeeds.How can these guys praise United as if they are the next best thing since the Beatles on one day and slam them as if they are Torquay the next is beyond me.Jose Mourinho won 4-1 at Anfield 3 years back(and without a player more) but i don’t remember this short of backlash for Liverpool or Rafa.

  8. Red Dave says:

    i couldnt agree more, i think we need to nip the title in the bud now
    stop all this speculation

  9. TinManUnited says:

    Hey did anyone get to see Fabio’s hat trick last night? Any links to highlights?

  10. cherry says:

    Let the ABUs celebrate a one off victory!! In may we will see who celebrate the most. All these ABU wankers greet me with four fingers since Saturday but thats no problem.
    The players should respond well against Fullham in our next game and we are alright. As for the scouse bastards, we pray to meet again.

  11. doncobaino says:

    i think we should throw fabio in, a.s.a.p not exactly dropping evra but giving him a rest…

  12. costas says:

    There’s no need for knee jerk reactions.If i was Fergie i would put the same 11 that played against Pool(Evans in for Vida of course).These 10 players will want to prove a point more than anyone.

  13. Stephen says:

    Costas, I agree they will put in a performance no doubt.

  14. wazza says:

    Scott, it wud have been better if it was a compilation of our goals so far this season, :-)

  15. Adam says:

    Liverpool fans will be using the same helpline they’ve used for many years.

    0800 10 10 10

    that’s 0800 won-nothing won-nothing won-nothing!

  16. Androo says:

    That was witty and clever. Poor scousers!

  17. Mark Moore says:

    Am i right in thinking the Murderers won a game at the weekend?

  18. sirryangiggs says:

    nice one adam (:

  19. davetian says:

    Anyone else seen the phone in from MUTV about Gary pallisters knob? Genius, just genius.

  20. SteRDLK says:

    The ABUs have never been so delighted in their pathetic lives. All jumping on the bandwagon. The bandwagon will implode when Liverpool draw their next game while we hammer Fulham.

    Liverpool have beaten Chelsea and United twice, yet are still below them!!! I would take that every year if it meant us winning trophies while they cry themselves to sleep as they are empty handed. AGAIN!

    Oh, and here is a good helpline :)

    0800 68 99 08

  21. Red-Manc says:

    :) i was gutted about the result at the weekend but the thing that has cheered me up and helped me get over it… the scousers reaction.

    “we beat you home and away” , this is the best thing thats happened to them in years it shows what a small club they have become, we’ve beat them home and away for the past 2 seasons maybe even more yet we haven’t celebrated it like we’ve won a cup, we saved those celebrations for when we we actually winning cups the double to be exact. Its been hilarious reading all there small time “wind ups”.

    MUFC – Champions of England,Champions of Europe,Champions of the World.

    Liverpool fans, for a reality check ring 0800 10 10 10
    19 years lads….

  22. edwin says:

    I have been subjected to this poor joke more times than a normal human being could take. Still, One never hesitates to tell them, and chelscum fans, that they have 1 0.

  23. gotta hate tiny tears says:

    liverpool beat the champions of england and future champions this season home and away

    congrates they are now like west ham 2 years ago


    west ham won fuck all that year

  24. RedHarry4Life says:

    Red Mac agreed

    Cheered up by their reaction. Next thing they will be producing mugs same as shitty last year to celebrate the event. Only cup they will get their theiving hands on this year.

    Defeats like that really make me so united. God we have to win the EPL so that we can ram it down all the ABUs throats. Knowing how pig sick it will make them cheers me up so much. But we have to win it, be focused.

    COME ON YE REDS FUCK THEM ALL!!!!!!!”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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