Republik of Mancunia recently offered you the easiest way possible to win an official Manchester United jersey. All you had to do was write 50 words about why Manchester United were bad for your health.
We had loads and loads of entries to read through so I had the help of Rob Smyth from The Guardian, Ahmed Bilal from Soccerlens, Mr Spleen from Red Issue, James Ryddel from A Kick in the Grass, as well as the staff on the RoM Manchester United forum, when it came to picking the winners.
Third prize: Nike hoodie, shorts and socks.
Winner: David Power, 32, Ireland, whose favourite player is Wayne Rooney.
Entry: United is bad for you health because it gives you: heart attacks from close games, diarrhoea from cup finals, sickness and headaches from alcohol, depression from bad results, anxiety over ticket prices, hypertension from injury worries and high cholesterol from dodgy burgers. Would I rather be healthy? Not a chance!
Second prize: Home shirt or blue away shirt (courtesy of SoccerPro.com)
Winner: Vijay Raveendranath, 30, New York, whose favourite player is Anderson.
Entry: Stomach churning. Eyes rolling. Pulse pounding. Fists clenching. Lungs bursting. Hair pulling. Teeth grinding. Gut wrenching. Knees weakening. Arms raising. Mouth watering. Nerves jangling. Heart breaking. Nail biting. Feet tapping. Palms sweating. Head reeling. Throat tightening. Ears ringing. Soul crushing. Mind numbing. Tongue lashing. Finger pointing. Skin crawling. Bum squeaking.
First prize: Choice between home shirt and blue away shirt (courtesy of SoccerPro.com)
Winner: Dil Parhbga, 32, Bristol, whose favourite players are Robson, Cantona, Keane and Solskjaer.
Entry: All day boozing, ripped off by touts. Away-day adventures, chased by louts. Last minute equalisers, last minute winners. Behaving like saints, treated like sinners. Kop end, sat with the scum. Rooney and Sheasy winners, having to keep schtum. Bad for the heart, that’s for sure. Next season, have some more.