Cheer up Alan Shearer, oh what can it mean, to a sad Geordie bastard and a shite football team!

Newcastle fans didn’t want boring and safe Sam Allardyce. Those mongs wanted to be entertained. They wanted exciting football. They wanted goals. So as Fat Sam drove Blackburn away from the relegation zone, Newcastle fans got to see the exciting football they craved. Loads of goals!

Sadly for the geordies, the exciting football with plenty of goals was usually being played by the opposition. Only Hull and West Brom have conceded more goals at home than Newcastle did at St. James’ Park this season.

So now they’ve been relegated, not too big to go down as some fans clung on to, with Michael YSB Owen scoring just 26 league goals in his four years with the club.

Enjoy playing Blackpool, Plymouth and Doncaster next season! Oh and say ello to that prick Gareth Southgate for us whilst you’re down there.