“We are vice-European champions behind Manchester, who only won it on penalties,” Drogba said today.

Come on Drogs, let’s be honest. You were European Cup finalists, but since when has any team that reached the final and lost referred to themselves as ‘vice-champions’? And if Chelsea had won it on penalties, there would be no ‘only won’ about it. Winners are winners and penalties aren’t a lottery.

Had Drogba been on the pitch, taking that fifth penalty instead of TinyTears, maybe Chelsea would be Champions of Europe… which goes some way to explaining this fairly amusing, yet desperate, attempt to gain status from their trophyless season.