Every now and again, I wonder if I’m being a tad harsh on City fans. It will just be a fleeting thought, something I usually dismiss fairly quickly, but I still do consider it. Whilst on derby day they are just a mass of total cunts, on a one to one basis, in the local, they’re usually good for a laugh. They can usually take the piss out of themselves and for all their wrongs, at least they’re Mancunians. I wonder how it would feel to follow a side that hadn’t won anything since before I was born, whilst my mates from school, some relatives, work pals, got to celebrate with and support the most successful English team in recent times. Can you actually imagine what life must be like for the average City fan?

But before I start feeling too guilty for ripping the piss out of them, something will always put me in my place, and remind me how soft I am to feel sympathy for them.

Step up Christopher Atkinson…

“I wanted to show off. I just hope we go for him this summer,” said Atkinson, in all seriousness. “It’s taken a few weeks to see the funny side. At least I have a permanent reminder of how close City came to signing him. I won’t get rid of it. I’ll just hang back a bit next time, hopefully for someone like Lionel Messi from Barcelona. I’m having a Robinho tattoo next.”

Oh dear God!