Can you write 50 words on why Manchester United is bad for your health?

If yes, read on.

We have another Manchester United jersey on offer thanks to the lovely people from SoccerPro, as well as a Nike hoodie, shorts and red football socks for the runner up, courtesy of the people behind the Nike Five adverts.

You gotta be in it to win it, so get your entries in. The more amusing the better.

Here’s the winner of March’s competition, Matt Kerr, wearing his prize and proudly holding up his winning entry.

The RoM Manchester United 2022-23 season preview is now available for just £6. It includes exclusive interviews with Patrice Evra and Kleberson, articles from the country's best football writers about our expectations for the season ahead and our brightest talents, as well as proposed transfer business and which youth players to keep an eye out for. All profit goes to Trafford Macmillan so please support this fantastic cause.