Can you write 50 words on why Manchester United is bad for your health?

If yes, read on.

We have another Manchester United jersey on offer thanks to the lovely people from SoccerPro, as well as a Nike hoodie, shorts and red football socks for the runner up, courtesy of the people behind the Nike Five adverts.

You gotta be in it to win it, so get your entries in. The more amusing the better.

Here’s the winner of March’s competition, Matt Kerr, wearing his prize and proudly holding up his winning entry.