Fergie: I'd Love To See Liverpool Relegated

Thirty minutes until kick off and I know I won’t have been alone in waking up earlier than I should have done with the excited sickness feeling in my stomach. Today is one of the best days of the whole season and something we look out for every time the fixture lists are announced. United vs Liverpool at Anfield.

Sir Alex Ferguson has certainly adopted United as his team in his twenty one year reign as manager, and with this love of United has come a hatred of Liverpool. Back in 2002 he was questioned about his future, in The Guardian, after going back on his decision to retire. Arsenal claimed the title and doubt set in whether Fergie had done the right thing. “My greatest challenge is not what’s happening at the moment,” he famously said, “my greatest challenge was knocking Liverpool right off their fucking perch. And you can print that.”

Now, someone at The People hasn’t done their research, is entirely clueless, and it puzzles me how such a moron can be making a wage out of writing about football. Ahead of the big game today Ferguson was asked whether he would welcome a title win from Liverpool, who haven’t won the league for seventeen years. He might as well have been asked, “Would you like your children to contract AIDs, Mr Ferguson?” or “Would you mind if I bent your wife over the coffee table and did her right here, Mr Ferguson?” for all the difference it would have made to his answer. “Would you be keen to see Liverpool end their title drought, Mr Ferguson?” What do you fucking think??

“You must be joking!” he responded. “Do I look as if I’m a masochist ready to cut myself? How does relegation sound instead? I enjoy winning at Anfield more than anywhere else. It’s a historical thing and although Liverpool may be desperate to beat us we are desperate to win too, it’s not a one way street this. Historically and geographically we are the two most successful clubs in this country, so really, what do you expect?”