China’s answer to Wayne Rooney joined Manchester United four years ago. Back then, Arsenal were going unbeaten in the league, Roy Carroll was our goalkeeper, Chelsea were finishing above us in the league, and a 19-year-old Portuguese kid had scored for us in the FA Cup final.

United forked out £500k, with the potential to pay £3.5 million based on appearances. Fortunately, we haven’t come anywhere near paying that much!

Yes, you all know who I’m talking about. Dong Fangzhuo. Every year as United looked to sign a striker in the summer, the topic of “Where’s Dong?” would arise on United forums. We’d all seen his videos on YouTube and he looked half decent.

He even scored for us in pre-seasons but it was glaringly obvious whenever he pulled on a United shirt that he was not good enough for our club, not even good enough for the Premiership. In his one league outing, the pointless game against Chelsea the season before last after the title had already been won, he was somewhat of a joke.

Well, finally, United have cancelled his contract. No more loans to Royal Antwerp or anywhere else, Dong is no longer a United player! Rejoice! First Eagles, then Silvestre (sorry!), now Dong, so who’s next? Louis Saha? John O’Shea (sorry!).

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