Just yesterday, Noel Gallagher was confirming City’s lack of identity, whilst gloating over their potential signing of Kaka.

Less than 24 hours later, AC Milan announced they would not be selling Kaka. Protesting fans showed up at Kaka’s house, only for him to appear to the window, hold up an AC Milan shirt, and beat his chest three times. He doesn’t want to go to City!

“The money was fine, the fee was fine but the bottom line was he didn’t believe City matched his footballing ambitions and he won’t be joining the club,” said Kaka’s father.

“I am really happy at this club,” said Kaka. “All the messages I received meant so much and forced me to choose with my heart. Going to Manchester City could have been a great project but I have prayed a lot in the last few days, looking to understand which was the right team for me and in the end I decided to stay here.”

This was just the start though!

Having been humiliated in the FA Cup by Nottingham Forest, City players are enjoying a training session in Tenerife. However, the happy atmosphere took a turn for the worst when Robinho stormed out. He had been promised he could return to Brazil for his 25th birthday but Mark Hughes changed his mind. Robinho clearly doesn’t give a shit less what Hughes has to say though and is on his way to Brazil regardless!

Still, it’s not all doom and gloom for City fans, as they did sign Craig Bellamy £14 million!

“It’s not just for me, you speak to anyone in the Premier League and they would want to come to Manchester City,” said Bellamy. “It’s rare for that to happen outside of the top four but I think there are a lot of players who would like to come to this club.”

Bridge, Bellamy, who next? We really should be looking over our shoulder, Champions League here they come!