Gerrard Goes Too Far

Steven Gerrard sensationally claimed in his autobiography that he wanted Manchester United to die, highlighting the hatred there is between the two clubs. His hatred is somewhat of a recent hobby though, when as a lad, he ran about the fields of Merseyside proudly wearing a United shirt with Robson’s name and number on the back.

Whenever the two clubs meet, he is given the hardest time of all the players, which comes down to the fact he is a bloody good player, and that he is a scouser. Whilst you will have seen pictures of Gerrard as a lad, kitted out in an Everton shirt and shorts, he is now a representative of Liverpool. Throughout his life, of swapping his shirt from red, to blue, to red again, it appears he hadn’t learnt much, when on two different occasions he handed in a transfer request to his beloved team to try and play in the blue of Chelsea. The Liverpool fans who were burning his shirt back then will be thankful for all the death threats he received to keep him there.

Regardless, he hates United now and wants us to die. It might be worthwhile if a copy of his autobiography is handed to the judge in his case for compensation after breaking the leg of a little lad. Ten year old Jamie Hellawell, who is a keen United fan according to his grandad, Reg, was hit by Gerrard’s black Bentley yesterday. He was stable last night, and transferred to Alder Hey.

Of course, I am only joking, I just want all the bases to be covered 😀

It appears as though “big and fuckin hard” Gerrard is actually quite the softie, and was extremely concerned for the little red. An eye-witness reporting to The Telegraph, said “Stevie Gerrard stopped the car and got out and ran over to the boy. He was kneeling over him and you could see there were tears in Stevie’s eyes. He was really upset to see the little lad like that. Steve was really pale and shocked. He stayed with the lad while the paramedics were treating him and giving him oxygen before they moved him.”

Awwww.

[edit]. Whilst banter is more than welcome on this blog, comments about Munich will not be accepted. Will you please refrain from making such remarks, and join the human race.