Rio Ferdinand, who was oddly overlooked for captaincy by Fabio Capello, lead out England tonight, filling in for TinyTears’ who is struggling to overcome a reoccurring back injury.

Playing for his country means a lot to Rio and he would be right to feel hard done by after missing out on the permanent captaincy, particularly in light of the characteristics of the man he lost out on the job to.

Regardless, England went in at half time with a 0-0 scoreline, leading to boos from the Wembley crowd. Christ, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when I watch these matches.

“This will be a very important game and I hope the fans don’t boo after 20 minutes if England don’t score a goal,” Capello said before the game. “This is very important. Don’t boo.” I suppose then it’s alright the fans booed, considering they had to wait 52 minutes for a goal…

Rio Ferdinand scored the opening goal for England, celebrating, like usual, as a man possessed. This is the man you want leading out your team.

The second goal looked as though it was Rooney’s although replays showed that it came off the head of a defender. The third and fourth goals were definitely his though, one assisted by Wes Brown.

Rooney was subbed after he scored his second, sitting on the bench as the announcer confirmed he was the Man of the Match.

Whilst of course happy to see our lads doing well, particularly Rooney, scoring 5 goals from his past 4 matches, I can’t get over these mugs who go and watch England play. After booing them at half time, it was that little cunt Ashley Cole who got abused in the second half. After a careless pass lead to a goal for Kazakhstan, he was booed every time he touched the ball from that moment on.

Whilst I find Cole entirely detestable, I can’t abide by these moronic fans. They think it’s pantomime season, going down to Wembley for an evening of entertainment. Who gives a fuck about the scoreline, as long as they get to heckle their players and behave like hypocrites, what does it matter? Can you imagine one of our defenders screwing up at Old Trafford, but then being booed from that moment on? It’s scandalous.

“I hope the people who’ve done that will feel a bit ashamed of themselves,” Rio said of the booing fans after the game.

By the time the full-time whistle was blown, and they’d given the man they were once burning effigies of the hero’s welcome, it was carnival time at Wembley. The booing had stopped and the brass band was playing. Marvellous.

Still, Rooney can be happy with his goals, Wes can be happy with his assist, and Rio can be happy knowing he scored and the team won 5-1 under his captaincy.