United in the penultimate month of the year.

November 2008

1st: Hull home
The best home game of the season so far. In terms of defending, we weren’t shit hot, but in terms of entertainment, it was brilliant.

After going 4-1 up, we were flying high, before Hull scored a second then won a penalty with less than 10 minutes to go. pedantic

It finished 4-3 but I left the ground buzzing. The first time in ages a team had actually come to Old Trafford to play a game of football, rather than just trying to stop us from scoring.

2nd: Tevez is staying
“This club have the most talented forward line in England and the manager has decided that we cannot all play in the team at the same time,” said Tevez. “I want to play more and the coach knows this. But I have no problem with him. We have spoken. There is no way I would want to leave this club. I insist I am calm. I have confidence in the coach and he has in me. In this sport it is necessary to be patient and I will be.”

5th: Celtic away
Thousands of fans with tickets were turned away from the ground, with claims that it was already full, meaning the fixture didn’t get off to the best start.

We absolutely battered them. It was the most one-sided game for some time, but with ten minutes to go we were still a goal down, following a fantastic goal from McDonald. Ryan Giggs came up with the goods though, giving us a well deserved point.

6th: Vieira loved playing United
“Every single game that I played against Manchester United was tough, was difficult, had a lot of tension, a lot of argument and a lot of bust-ups – but was fantastic,” said Vieira. “I loved it! When I was at Arsenal, Manchester United were the best team in the country. There was a big rivalry between the two clubs and there was tension on the pitch and off the pitch. That fascinated me – and it made me laugh.”

8th: Arsenal away
Arsenal got played off the park on their own turf, second best to United in every statistic going apart from the one that counts, how many goals scored.

Nasri scored twice before substitute Rafael Da Silva scored a cracker to restore some pride. At least we knew who should be our starting right back from now on.

11th: QPR at home in the League Cup
Danny Welbeck won us a penalty with four minutes to go, which Carlos Tevez duly buried.

14th: Dealing with Hargreaves
“We have tried to manage it by sending him to a specialist in Leicester for a series of injections,” said Ferguson. “Their success rate is very good. Unfortunately it wasn’t good enough for Owen because he was still feeling great pain in his knee caps. We had to look at the next stage and that meant sending him for an operation. The surgeon is very pleased with it and we had a physio there who was happy as well. We hope it will get rid of the problem and he will come back a new player.”

15th: Stoke home
God I hate these fuckers. Was great to stuff them 5-0. They piled in to the away end, chanting “wanker” like they were possessed. We’ve yet to come across a team more obsessed with Ronaldo than this lot. They were far more interested in him than their own team (not that I can blame them, given how shite their players were).

Welbeck scored his first United goal, an absolute screamer from outside the box. Despite their jeering, Ronaldo went on to score two goals, with Berbatov and Carrick also grabbing a goal each.

19th: United reported over ticket prices
MUST report the club to OFT in a complaint over rising ticket prices.

22nd: Villa away
We have a great record at Villa Park but given the quality Martin O’Neil has instilled in this side, we did have to wonder if that record was about to come to an end.

A boring 0-0 draw it was, meaning our record was in tact, but we really could have done with a couple more points.

24th: Ronaldo the best, says Torres
“No-one can rival him,” said Torres. “He is in a class of his own. I have never seen a comparable player. What he did last season is incredible. No-one won this year what he’s won: UEFA Champions League, Premier League and Golden Boot. For me he is the best player in the world. A machine. Incomparable.”

25th: Villarreal away
Another boring 0-0.

30th: Derby day
You would think us winning the Premiership and European Cup would have been enough to shut up those bitters from down the road. But oh no, those bluenoses have been reminding us of their own double from last season, beating United home and away.

Even with Ronaldo getting sent off for a ridiculous second yellow card, United cruised to victory, 10 men, away from home.

So it was great to see a performance from us that resembles that of our display last time we played at Wastelands, however this time the day ended with us on the right side of 1-0 scoreline. Rooney scored the winner and was chuffed to bits to do so. Have that, berties.