Since the World Cup, there’s been one player talked about more than any other. Cristiano Ronaldo. Obsessed with hatred to begin with, then obsessed with admiration, then obsessed with his transfer and injury. People can’t seem to get enough of him. It’s like David Beckham all over again, but maybe worse.

The Ronaldo infatuation got so bad today that The Daily Mail ran with the headline: Winger risks wrath of United by showing allegiance to City. Of course, that got me rather interested. Surely he can’t be interested in this pathetic talk of a £135m bid for him?

So I read the start of the article:

The mega-rich owners of Manchester City have put him top of their shopping list – and they will be encouraged by Cristiano Ronaldo’s latest purchase.

Oh aye? So what’s he bought then? A City shirt? A City scarf? A City air fresherner?

For the United winger has ditched his allegiance to the Red Devils and bought a new £340,000 Bentley coupe – in City blue.

Is that it? He’s bought a new sky blue coloured car and they’re saying he’s ditched his United allegiance? How ridiculous. Well, it gets far worse than that.

If you needed reminding of the colour ‘City blue’, here it is, taken from the Wastelands. The seats are empty because United aren’t playing.

Now here is the picture of Cristiano Ronaldo’s car.

On what planet is that car ‘City blue’? I mean, even if he had bought a sky blue car, it would mean fuck all, but the fact his car is dark blue makes the story even more ridiculous. The Mail have used any excuse they can to talk Ronaldo and whip up a storm about our player. Obsessed. You would have thought I’d have become used to it by now…