In this day and age it seems perfectly acceptable to run polls over who the ugliest footballers are. It appears as though their love of the beautiful game is not enough for some people, instead, they would rather get swept away in the girlie magazine fad, rating footballers on their looks.

This week, The Sun published a top ten ugly players, a list which Wayne Rooney was unusually not mentioned in. He tends to be named in these lists.

Steven Taylor is better known for his ‘been hit by a snipe impression’ than he is any ability, with Old Trafford one of the several places he’s gone down after handballing in the area.

At half time, we weren’t his biggest fan, after he clattered in to Cristiano Ronaldo with his arm. The referee decided only to show a yellow card, however several United players were furious about the incident. Rio Ferdinand was booked for protesting before the row continued in the tunnel.

“You’ve always been a shit footballer,” said Rooney. Then Taylor, in all his maturity and wisdom responded with, “I might be a shit player but at least I’m not ugly like you. You’ll always be ugly.”

Ouch. I’m sure Rooney will cry himself to sleep… with his league title winners, European Cup winners and League Cup winners medals. He’s ugly. When he was cuddling up to his missus last night in their mansion, the thoughts of his goal running through his mind, I’m sure it cut him to the very core that Steven fucking Taylor called him ugly. Even Ronaldo could learn a thing or two about cheating from Taylor, which says a lot! Shit footballer, great cheat, no winners medals.




------------
The RoM Manchester United 2024-25 season preview is now available. It includes articles from the country's best football writers about our expectations for the season ahead and our brightest talents, as well as proposed transfer business and which youth players to keep an eye out for. All profit goes to The Christie so please support this fantastic cause.