Rafael Benitez has provided United fans with plenty of laughs over the past few weeks, after laying in to Sir Alex Ferguson and Manchester United in regards to decisions made by the FA and our chairman’s position with the FA.

Without needing notes, Ferguson dismissed Benitez as ‘disturbed’, ‘ridiculous’ and ‘angry’, not wanting to pay too much attention to the FSW’s remarks.

“A lot of people think the same as me,” said Benitez. “I need to change my mobile phone because it is blocked with so many messages of support. After 22 years of Mr Ferguson working, I understand why.”

Firstly, you don’t need to buy a new mobile if your message box gets full, you thick twat, you just press the delete key. Secondly, where are all these people who supposedly support you? Why aren’t we inundated with these messages of support in the press? Of course, there’s Ian Rush who’s on side, Andy Townsend, Graham Poll. But where are the people who actually matter? The people whose opinion you’d actually give a shit less about? Maybe there are hundreds of people who agree with Benitez, but they’re not bloody mental enough to go on and on to the press about it.

David Gill has today rejected Benitez’s outlandish claims, sorry, I mean ‘facts’, with as much ease as the manager.

“With respect to his comments on my position they are totally inaccurate,” said Gill. “The reality of it is that on the FA board sit three representatives of the Premier League in Premier League chairman Dave Richards, Bolton chairman Phil Gartside and myself. They are elected every year by every club in the Premier League and when we are on the board we are there representing the Premier League and I am not there representing Manchester United. The reality is that when you look at the decisions and issues I think anyone would understand that we don’t get special treatment because of that. Therefore I was surprised (by Benitez’s comments) and I think they are totally inaccurate.”