"Which one of you is Simon Bird?...You're a c**t."

Joe Kinnear’s funny press conference rant was prompted by criticism written by The Mirror‘s Simon Bird. “Which one of you is Simon Bird?” Kinnear asked. “Me,” Bird replied. “You’re a cunt.”

I’d say Kinnear is spot on.

The ‘article’ Bird wrote this week was discussed on RoM following Michael Owen’s refusal to speak to the press after his first goal for Manchester United.

Michael Owen released a brochure promoting his talents in the summer. Athlete, Ambassador, Icon was the headline. “Clean and fresh, young, articulate, cool, stylish….”. Owen’s “brand values“ were spelled out for football club’s around Europe. Reconsile [sic] those grand claims with the words spat out by Owen at reporters following his first goal for Manchester United at the weekend. “You’ve caned me then you want an interview?“ he said without stopping.

How about we reconsider those brand values in light of the evidence demonstrated not just at the weekend, but by his conduct over the last few years when at Newcastle. A more appropriate assessment would be: Ageing, battle scarred, chippy, inarticulate, lacking in class and loving to pass the blame for his own short-comings and misfortune with injuries. Michael Owen is in danger of letting his gripes and frustration of a career that went down hill when he left Liverpool in 2004 ruin his prized image, and leaving him looking bitter and twisted.

Aww, it looks as though the only bitter and twisted one here is Bird. The person I saw on Saturday, running towards the United fan, beaming grin on his face, arms outstretched, didn’t look the least bit bitter or twisted. He looked happy. Was he happy to see all the journalists who’d been ‘caning’ him for the past few weeks/months/years waiting for an interview after his great first United goal? Probably. He was probably very happy to tell them to jog on whilst he went to speak to MUTV too.

The only bitter and twisted one here seems to be Bird, who clearly thought his time in the North East would be enough to earn an interview with Owen, someone he’s ‘always supported’.

April 29th 2009: I have always been a supporter of Michael Owen. I’ve had admiration that he has returned to keep his goal average at one every other game for club and country. When Michael Owen speaks he talks down to earth sense. He doesn’t fake it, or do badge kissing. Just cold ruthless facts.

What is it? Inarticulate or someone who speaks sense and talks in facts? Given that Bird has a spelling mistake in his own published article in a newspaper, it’s a bit rich for him to criticise someone else’s command of the English language! Regardless, whilst footballers aren’t famed for their brains, Owen certainly seems bright enough. Whilst his monotone voice doesn’t leave you hanging on his every word, I’d argue ‘articulate’ is a fair description of him.

Oh dear, nothing like a journo scorned, eh Bird?